Forever With Me

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Forever With Me" is a poignant exploration of love, loss, and the enduring nature of human connection. The poem's structure is consistent, adhering to a regular rhyme scheme that contributes to its overall rhythm and flow.

The use of metaphors and imagery is effective in conveying the speaker's emotional state. For instance, the line "I have escaped to stars above" suggests a transcendence of physical existence, while the phrase "In meagre light, I’ll grow as spark" implies resilience and the potential for growth even in difficult circumstances.

However, the poem could benefit from more specific and concrete imagery to ground the abstract concepts it explores. For example, instead of saying "I’m in a glimpse of distant space," the poet could describe a specific celestial body or astronomical phenomenon to create a more vivid picture in the reader's mind.

The poem's language is generally clear and accessible, but there are a few instances where the syntax is somewhat awkward, such as "I touched your days" and "I see you still, but I’ve moved on." These lines could be rephrased for clarity without losing their poetic quality.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates its themes and emotions, but could be improved with more concrete imagery and clearer syntax.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hello, Ruby,
At first I thought this was a separation by dying. (Probably is?) But as I reread, if felt as if it may also be the separation we have from our lovers merely as we sleep, which is pretty deep and mystifying. Either way, it is a tender poem, passionate.
Thank you!
L

A beautiful love after death poem. My favorite two lines in your poem are “in flower booms, and rain and winds, I am not lost, new life begins.” Simply beautiful words imagery. Thank you for this lovely post.

I don not always have the time to comment, but I try to read from neopoet's line-up at least three times a week. of that list, your, and a few others poems are at the top of my reading list. I wish I had the time and concentration to read all the poems here. I love your gentle coaxing of magical words to make mystical gifts to share with us. my favorite lines are:

I am not lost, new life begins.
If I surrendered to the dark,
In meagre light, I’ll grow as spark.
My love for you, will signify,
our dreams remain, above the sky.

*thank you for being you, Cat