She (an early eddy styx poem)

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem titled "She" demonstrates a clear understanding of the use of suspense and intrigue to engage readers. The use of ellipses and line breaks effectively contributes to the overall pacing and tone of the poem, creating a sense of mystery and tension.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of imagery. The description of the subject's "pale, swollen lips" and "creamrinse-fragrant hair" is vivid and engaging, but these are the only concrete images in the poem. Including more sensory details throughout the poem could help to create a more immersive and impactful reading experience.

Additionally, the note about "eddy styx" being the author's "murderous, Male alter ego who writes dark poetry" could potentially be incorporated into the poem itself, rather than included as a footnote. This could provide additional depth and context to the poem, and could also serve to further engage readers.

Lastly, the use of punctuation in the poem is somewhat inconsistent. While the use of ellipses and commas can contribute to the poem's pacing and tone, the capitalization of "Male" in the footnote and the use of a semicolon after "but" may not be necessary. Ensuring consistent and correct punctuation can help to maintain the poem's overall flow and readability.

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I can see his curious face and half smile
and looking through his dark eyes, the young girl.
He would have made sweet love to her, before taking her life.
He was subtly jealous that someone had gotten there before him,
someone had had the pleasure of those pale, swollen lips, someone...

I love this! Wow, so poignant, such ecstasy! Great stuff, without a whole lot of words and explanations.
~ Geez.
.

Wow Cat, you've done it again. This is so intense and eerie. Your brief poem is full of impact, suspense and mystery. I think your alter ego is deliciously wicked. Well done, loved it. Ruby :) xx

Hi, Cat,
I think this is one of Eddy's best. Dark and grizzly.
L