Letter To My Hijacker

This is a sad day... for you,
you who has taken my conscious experience from me along with my pleasure, my vitality, and my drive to be progressive and achieve.
I cant believe I chose to try and escape now your spell is no longer valid,
nor useful anymore because instead I've discovered your intentions,
because you are selfish with your rewards now, and it cant hide no more because I've already seen, thought, and reflected on it,
and the evidence is not on your side anymore,
since you are useless now,
and I'm not going to let you make me useless anymore after tonight,
I command you to return my reigns,
to the owner of this experience and disappear from my reality if you know whats good for you.
I'm done being a spectator of this game, when its my controller that you are in possession of and now you will give me control,
if you don't you will end up feeling shame, guilt, and unfulfillment in this life instead of enjoying what is taken for granted because I want to be able to experience excitement again.
You are trespassing in my world and dragging it through the mud.
I tried to escape the bittersweet nature of this world for the intensity of my feelings I tried to banish instead of embrace,
that I experience life so intensely for a good reason that i'm still confused about.
I feel like a paradox.
I deserve freedom and control of my being I am sick of not being able to feel anymore,
I want to live with joy and I reject anhedonia, and you too crystal meth,
now you can be the helpless spectator of MY reality cause your time has come,
kick rocks,
Go swim in your own pain and despair,
go do whatever you want as long as you never participate in my lived life or i'm gonna make you lose your teeth faster than you would have otherwise.
You promised me a solution that you don't deliver anymore and that betrayal will never be forgiven so I will deliver on my promise to rid myself of your toxic grip which has slowly become unclenched,
don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out the door.