Jenifer James
Aug 05, 2023

A strange story

Once
Each
Word
Was new,
Had not existed,
Never been spoken,

So, say
‘Seaweed’,
For the first time,
‘Seaweed’,
Weed of the sea,

Smell the word,
Flavour it,
Salt-fresh
Or foul decay,

Savour the words -
Green-Hair,
Oarweed,
Hen-Pen,
Rosy-Pink-Plates,
Dew-Drops,
Oyster-Thief,
Kelp,

Coiling
The threads
Of Mermaid-String,
Knot them Into your brain,

And watch
Light waves roll
With the tide,
Sun-lit red,
Gold and lettuce green,
Fronds and fans,
Ribs and hands,
Seaweed.

It’s a strange story,
a word, a sentence, paragraph,
a poem:

Seaweed.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I was inspired by the title of of one of this month's contests 'a strange story'. Of course this has too many lines! But I like the way it is coming together, so am looking for suggestions on this longer poem, while I also trial a shorter one, same theme, for the contest.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: nsw, australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Too many influences

More from this author

Comments

Alex Tanner

Hello Jenifer, I liked this immensely and I think you could cut the length of each stanza to fit the required parameters without losing any of the words. I read it as though I was still on the stage and it works very well. Alex

J

Thanks, Alex. Good advice - I had started more like you suggested, then played with this form. I really appreciate that you read it as though still on the stage, as that is a bit how I wrote it, to be read aloud.
I will follow your thoughts.

S

What a love subject for poetry which is nothing but words. Indeed I'm certain some words are invented even now to be used in poetry

J

Totally agree, Scribbler.
And who invented these gorgeous words for seaweed, if not poets: Hen-Pen, Rosy-Pink-Plates? not just a scientist, but a scientist with a poet's heart.
They are all real seaweeds by the way.