Obadiah Grey

Jul 24, 2023

" Aberfan"

Aberfan.

L
-A
--N
---D
----S
-----L
------I
-------D
--------E
----------angle of repose.
---------------------------wishing
------------------------------------wishing
-------------------------------------------wishing;
--------------------------------------------------children wore Sunday clothes.

Obi.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: int'topfield, GBR

Favorite Poets: Felix Dennis

Comments

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

What a...

remarkable piece of formatting! Not sure of the meaning of wishing that children wore Sunday clothes.
~ Geez.
.

Hiya, Geez.

Hiya, Geez.
Easiest way to understand the meaning is to Google,,,, Aberfan. Mate...

Cheers, Obi.

I get it now...

Had they been in Sunday clothes, they might have been home or at church. ~ Geez.
.

Need to..

..agree with Geezer, the formatting is an eye-catcher. Just read a bit on the event. Tragic in the least...can't even imagine the horror. That's all I got on that...hmm.. and I always thought you were shallow.

Cheers!

Thomas

Aberfan

Well done, Obi.
L

Oh, Obi, I don't what to say

Oh, Obi, I don't know what to say but this?
It was fantastic because of its simplicity and its representation on the screen/paper.
I don't remember the incident but I have learned of it and seen lots of footage and pictures.
Heartbreaking incident. You're one clever bloke and not as sombre as I supposed.
Well done brilliant yet devastating. Ruby ;) xx

aberfan

How well I remember that awful day. Beautifully put Obi, if beautiful can be used to describe such horrifying events. Alex

Geez, Thomas, Lav, Ruby, Alex

Geez, Thomas, Lav, Ruby, Alex.

I like and admire the formatting too.
If I'm honest with myself, the content does not do justice to the deed so to speak,
and, I feel its sadly lacking poetic clout.

Thanks for the comments chaps,,, Its well received.

Obi

Obi,

I can only tell you how it made (makes) me feel. Great poetry, and so well done.
L

Like others I can only say

Like others I can only say how it made me feel. To create that emotion on paper, the poet must get it right. You did. Ruby :)

Well....

it can be a sensitive subject, depending on the person's relationship with the event...didn't want to go there with you, so there it is. It's the simplicity of your piece that leaves a lot open (speaking as a life-worn individual)...like I said...I doubt any poet could do the event justice.