Neopoem Of The Week July 16 to July 22nd 2023

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Discover Your Place

As we dance life energies flow through our form,
With healing loving essences so blissful and warm,
Replenishing the aura where it is damaged and torn,
Restoring our inner radiance where broken and worn,

The pure hope and freedom resonating in our beings,
Dissolving away the pain and torment that we have seen,
To satisfy the inspiration of our soul is now our only need,
In the dawn of a new tomorrow we plant this fresh seed.

We create a horizon of inspiration through true affection, ,
And through our endurance overcome the woe of past misdirection,
Passing on the spiritual beauty of the shared souls true elation,
Becoming the cosmic prototypes of the creative mystic nation.

As we emerge upon the plateau of a divine celestial grace,
We embody the shared equality of a compassionate human race,
Comprehending the souls reality of a truly solar spiritual space,
Discovering our beings reality and truly original unique place.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: England, UK

Comments

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Discover Your Place" explores themes of healing, renewal, and self-discovery. The language used is evocative and carries a sense of hope and inspiration. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened.

First, consider the use of clichés in the poem. Phrases like "healing loving essences," "dissolving away the pain and torment," and "plant this fresh seed" are common expressions that can weaken the impact of the poem. Try to find fresh and original ways to convey your ideas, avoiding overly familiar language.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from more specific and concrete imagery. While the concepts of "inner radiance" and "spiritual beauty" are intriguing, they remain somewhat abstract. Adding vivid and sensory details can help to ground the poem and make it more engaging for the reader.

Lastly, consider the structure and flow of the poem. The lines are generally consistent in length, which can create a sense of monotony

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Your title...

was good, the language use also.
Your rhyme is very good and doesn't seem forced.
The pace is fair and varies only slightly. I think that your rhyme scheme is one of the hardest.
Line for line rhyme is hard to do and keep in context.
A spiritual leaning that flaps its wings and soars. ~ Geezer.
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A.P.