Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Jul 12, 2023

Cursed Or Blessed (a reposting) eddy styx.

Oh the pain and pleasure

of the living soul,

The agony or the ecstasy.

It’s our decision,

Individually alone to make.

So inconsequentially

Which road to take.

The living hell

Each breath does make.

Oh fool you, of the fleshy bondage

Are you not at all aware,

of the irony of your senseless groping.

The endless pain of love forsaken

Or the noncommittal chances taken,

On a grand scale of nothing ventured

Nothing gained,

From all loves pleasures

hence abstained.

And so you’ve been told

That you’ve been blessed,

By God’s sweet loving tenderness.

The human favorite granted choices,

The gifted one of hungry voices.

And still you have not guessed?

Instead of cursed you call it blessed!

*by my alter ego: eddy styx

About This Poem

Last Few Words: * I wrote this after being preached at by my uncle, a seventh day adventist minister.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Cursed Or Blessed," presents a contemplation of life's dualities - pain and pleasure, agony and ecstasy, and the paradox of being blessed or cursed. It's a thought-provoking piece that encourages readers to reflect on their own perspectives and choices.

However, there are areas that could be improved for clarity and impact. The poem could benefit from more concrete imagery to evoke the emotions it discusses. For example, the line "The endless pain of love forsaken" could be enhanced with specific images or situations that illustrate this pain.

The poem also seems to shift in tone and perspective. It starts with a somewhat detached, philosophical tone, but then shifts into a more direct and accusatory tone with "Oh fool you, of the fleshy bondage." This shift might be intentional, but it could be confusing for some readers. If the intention is to maintain this shift, it might be helpful to make it more consistent or clear throughout the poem.

Lastly, the rhythm and meter of the poem could be more consistent. Some lines are much longer than others, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consider revising the lines to have a more consistent syllable count, or to follow a specific metrical pattern. This could enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging to read.

Overall, the poem has a strong thematic focus and presents an intriguing exploration of life's paradoxes. With some revisions for clarity, imagery, tone, and rhythm, it could be even more impactful.

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Unca Fez

It seems to me that we are both cursed and blessed. Much of it is determined by your perspective.

Ruby Lord

Hi Cat, there is such an undercurrent to this poem.
Your opening lines are delivered with a confident force aided in your word choice.
There is no love in this poem, only the anguish of painful memories, and those who claim to be advocates of religion usually deliver the opposite of what they say.
Thank you for sharing, Ruby :)

Candlewitch

wow, don't I know it well! I lived with a grandmother who was a religious fanatic. and was strict disciplinarian! I call it spiritual abuse. it is good I only lived with her for a year. (a fractured childhood)

*hugs & love, Cat

Ruby Lord

Tell me about it. All I remember from my childhhod and school days, is a continual threat of being burned in hell. A lot of it has stuck with me and I suppose I use those experinces and preaching in my poems when I'm delivering sermons of why religion doesn't work. Ruby :)

Candlewitch

boils my blood! being beaten over the head with religion wounds the spirit and mind! religion has created many a lost soul. anger is just the tip of the ice burg! but I think i have found my deity within the earth and mother nature ;)

*love, Cat

Ruby Lord

Yes definitly, if we think about how older tribes lived and respected the earth, espcially the Native Indians of America and the Aborigines in Australia I see them as living a far better life than we ever did with religious control. I'm sorry for the lives we could have had. Ruby :) xx

RoseBlack

I felt every single bit of this poem. As always, Eddy does not disappoint. Every road I have tried I thought led to better and it didn't. There were no blessings at the end of any of them...just more curses. Great job.

Candlewitch

too many religious lies used to control sheepole. it is good to break away from herd mentality. hope you are well and Cat lit a white candle for you wishing you peace and clarity.

*hugs & black roses, eddy styx

S

there is a third level here which I can't put my finger on................