The Last Time We Spoke

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Last Time We Spoke" presents a clear emotional narrative, focusing on themes of regret, abandonment, and the aftermath of a relationship. The language is evocative and the imagery is strong, particularly in the lines "between the wounds that had been dressed, and those that were abandoned." This metaphor effectively conveys the sense of unresolved issues and pain.

The poem could benefit from a more careful consideration of rhythm and meter. While free verse can be powerful, the irregular rhythm here can sometimes disrupt the flow of the poem. For instance, the line "I'm not sure, but it will always be" is noticeably longer than the others, which can be jarring for the reader.

The poem's conclusion, "how I think of you, and how empty the second chances left us," effectively summarizes the speaker's feelings and provides a poignant ending. However, the phrase "how empty the second chances left us" is somewhat ambiguous. While ambiguity can add depth to a poem, in this case, it might be beneficial to clarify what is meant by "empty" in this context. Is it a feeling of hollowness, of disappointment, of wasted opportunity? More specificity here could enhance the emotional impact.

In terms of structure, the poem is largely consistent, with each stanza containing two lines. However, the final stanza breaks this pattern with three lines. While this could be seen as a way to emphasize the ending, it might be worth considering whether this disruption to the pattern is effective, or whether it might be more powerful to maintain a consistent structure throughout.

Overall, this poem demonstrates a strong command of language and a clear emotional core. With some adjustments to rhythm, clarity, and possibly structure, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

and done that, I can relate.
I agree, sometimes you just can't fix the things that you want to.
I believe that there are places and things in our lives that are regulated
by our responses; a deeper layer that recognizes our inner-most soul and knows what is needed.
The pain we have to endure, the paths we have to follow.
Of course, I may be wrong, but I don't think so. I like this a lot. Nothing I would change. ~ Geezer.
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Hi, Michael,
Nope, sometimes we just can't fix the things we want to. "...the wounds that have been dressed, and those that were abandoned." We all have those types of wounds.
Great language and genuine feeling, as always.
L

You never cease to amaze me with brevity. Your words hold power and emotion and gravity. I always enjoy your vision of the world around you and your ability to tell a story.

Tim

Such a strong poem - less is so much more!
I feel the power - in so few words.
Congratulations.