Look in the mirror do not like what I see
I see the inner reflection of me
I hide my tears with a phony smile
My heart has been broken for awhile
The darkness that I hide in my soul
Tries to fill a deep dark, cold hole
My eyes reflect what is inside
Each blink is just another lie
Like a carefully hidden enticing trap
My brain is on the verge of a snap
Self-contained struggles within thoughts
They tie my stomach into looping knots
Breaking mirrors cannot end my reflection
Not much longer can I hide in my self-deception
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Title: Reflection
Review:
This poem explores the theme of self-reflection and the internal struggles that the speaker is experiencing. The use of imagery and metaphors effectively conveys the emotions and conflicts within the speaker's mind. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened:
1. Consider varying the rhyme scheme: The poem follows a consistent AABB rhyme scheme throughout, which can make the poem feel predictable and repetitive. Experimenting with different rhyme patterns or incorporating occasional slant rhymes can add more musicality and depth to the poem.
2. Show, don't tell: While the poem effectively describes the speaker's emotions, there is room to further engage the reader by showing the emotions through sensory details or specific experiences. Instead of stating "My heart has been broken for awhile," consider using vivid language to evoke the pain and heartbreak the speaker feels.
3. Expand on the theme: The poem touches upon the idea of self-deception and hiding one's true emotions, but
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The comments above,
The comments above are spot on, I have a few thoughts on your poem but will only comment if you agree. Regards Roscoe.
To Neopoet AI
I write as the words flow from within me. It is a personal release, a cathartic process that helps alleviate my pain. If my writings provide solace to someone by letting them know they are not alone in their struggles, then I see it as an additional positive outcome. Seeking acceptance from others is something I abandoned long ago.