I suppose it is necessary,
addling the eggs of the geese.
They are beyond plentiful,
proliferating abundantly,
destructive and messy,
aggressive, dangerous,
and downright
mean.
But watching the devoted female
nesting over her four eggs
day after day,
her mate close by guarding both
mother and clutch so steadfastly,
felt cruel and deceiving -
like a cheap inside joke,
a painful, horrid lie.
Finally, the pair gave up,
walked away from the nest for the last time,
leaving their suffocated family in a cluster of
twigs, and grass, and white feathers.
Cold, now, to the touch.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Addling" is a poignant reflection on the practice of addling the eggs of geese as a means of population control. The poet explores the conflicting emotions that arise from witnessing the process, acknowledging the necessity of the practice while also feeling a sense of cruelty and deception. The imagery is vivid and evocative, with descriptions of the geese as "destructive and messy," "aggressive, dangerous," and "downright mean." The contrast between this characterization and the tender devotion of the female goose as she nests over her eggs is particularly striking.
The poem effectively conveys a sense of sadness and loss as the pair of geese ultimately give up on their nest and walk away, leaving their eggs behind. The final image of the abandoned nest and the cold, lifeless eggs is powerful and haunting.
One suggested line edit would be to change "omitted" in the line "leaving their omitted family in a cluster of" to "abandoned." This would more clearly convey the sense of loss and abandonment that the poet is trying to convey.
Overall, "Addling" is a well-crafted and emotionally resonant poem that effectively captures the complexities of the human relationship with the natural world.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Thank you, AI Team,
I will think over the "abandoned" suggestion. Somehow, it didn't feel like the geese abandoned them nearly as much as the eggs were destroyed.
L
I agree...
the word should not be abandoned, but maybe: eliminated? ~ Geez.
.
Yes,
that is much closer to my intent. Will ponder that one over more seriously.
Thank you, Geezer!
L
Well I learned a thing
Never heard of that. But yeah that’ll suffocate an embryo.
This is a beautiful piece of that observational poetry style you’re so amazing at. Of course the poor geese are heartbroken but they are invasive and quite destructive. It’s still sad.
The eggs are quite edible if not fertilized. But how do you candle the eggs out in the field, I couldn’t say.
Nice work, sad story,
Tim
Hello, Tim,
Good to see you back! It was a hard process to watch, although I understand very necessary. The geese stayed much longer than was hoped.
Thank you for reading!
L
That is so sad and I've
That is so sad and I've learned something new today, addling.
I agree with the bot on using the word abandoned, it would add additional depth to your piece and give the geese a more human representation and a familiar emotional response.
It is a perfect piece of story telling and your use of anthropomorphism in a way similar to fairy tales is expertly handled. Ruby :)
Hello, Ruby,
The process is necessary, I believe, but so hard to watch day after sad day. Not certain if "omitted" is correct, but don't feel that "abandoned" is the exact word, either. The geese seemed to want to do everything BUT abandon the eggs. I'll think it over, though.
Thank you, Ruby!
L
And that...
is what has to be done sometimes. I get the sensitivity, I guess that being a mother makes it easier to imagine what the geese are feeling. The final line is icing on the cake; "Cold now, to the touch". Great work! ~ Geez.
.
Hi, Geezer,
Such is the reality of coexisting with nature up close. Pretty troubling to watch as it played out.
Thank you for reading!
L
Don't be shy...
...change out "suppressed" to "suffocated" if it fills the bill..
I learned something new today also.
Cheers!
Thomas
Hello, Thomas,
I actually thought about that...guess I needed someone else to think that, too. It's so raw and harsh. But it fits the bill.
Thank you, as always, for your keen eye and wisdom.
L
Wow...
now that I read it over, that line really gives the piece dystopian impact. I certainly "feel" it now.
Thomas
Hello, Thomas,
Yes, that is the best word...harsh, but honest. I think Tim felt it, too, after re-reading his comment. Always appreciate the help here. Sometimes it's like someone clears the fog and shows what's really there.
Thank you very much!
L
Dear L
I felt my heart breaking, I felt for them both, and then I read your afterword and my heart broke all over again.
This is absolutely brilliant. I felt bereft. It's the only word i can find at the moment that explains the feeling that this left me with.
Well Done!!
much love J xxx
Hello, Dear Jayne,
This was a harsh process to witness. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I am always grateful.
Much love,
Lxxx
I loved this - a poem full of
I loved this - a poem full of emotional intent. I saw it all, and read it again. Lavender, there is such a bitter/ sweetness and so much emotion in this - thank you.
Hello, Jenifer,
I think poems like this tend to write themselves - so much to feel just by observing.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L