Kristen H.
Jun 13, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week June11th to June 17th 2023 🏆 Winner

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My Choice

"You're my choice"
"I love my choice"
You say
As you hug me tighter
Reassuring me of your love for me
You kiss my lips
And kiss my tears away

Not tears of pain
Or worry
Or fear
But happy tears

You profess your love for me
And let me know I'm yours

God
What a love this is

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: My Choice

In this poem, the speaker describes a moment of reassurance and love between two individuals. The poem effectively conveys the emotions of the speaker through the use of dialogue and vivid imagery. Here are some suggestions to further refine the poem:

1. Consider adding more specific details or imagery to create a more vivid and engaging scene. For example, you might describe the setting, the physical appearance of the individuals, or their actions in more detail.

2. The poem could benefit from a more consistent structure. Currently, the poem has a mix of short and long lines, which can make the flow feel disjointed. Experiment with a more consistent line length or stanza structure to create a smoother reading experience.

3. The poem's theme of love and reassurance is clear, but it could be interesting to explore the reasons behind the speaker's need for reassurance. This could add depth to the poem and make the emotions feel more grounded in a specific context.

4. The last two lines, "God / What a love this is," could be rephrased or expanded to create a more impactful ending. Consider using a metaphor or simile to describe the love in a unique way, or explore the speaker's thoughts and feelings about the love more deeply.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a tender moment between two individuals, but could benefit from more specific details, a consistent structure, and a deeper exploration of the emotions and context.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Seren

Seren

1 year 10 months ago

"God what a poem this is", says it all. This is a brilliant poem.

Nothing else need be added I believe except, Kudos!!

Kind Regards Seren

RoseBlack

A feeling I'm not too familiar with but hope for the day when I am. What a fantastic feeling that must be. Well done.

Alex Tanner

What a pleasure to read something cheerful and uplifting amongst so much doom and gloom written. Alex