I don’t know how it happened
And I don’t know when it started
But slowly I noticed that I hated you.
You noticed it too.
Day by day it all fell apart
Bit by bit I broke you down
I wanted you to hate me too
But you never stopped loving me.
I tried and I tried
To push you away
So I could retreat back to my solitude.
You wouldn’t let me.
It sounds romantic but
It made me hate you more.
I wish I could say I still loved you then too
But I can’t remember.
I can’t remember if you looked at me the same way.
I can’t remember how we talked.
I can’t remember how often you called me.
Or if you called at all.
I wish I could remember everything
So I could apologize for the way I treated you.
But part of me is glad that I can’t.
It would hurt too much.
It’s amazing what doctors can do
And how medication works.
With the flip of a switch I remembered you
I remembered that I loved you.
I hoped it wasn’t too late.
I hoped I could try again.
To be myself with you again
Without resentment.
I was scared you would hate me forever
I was scared you wouldn’t take me back.
But I called and you answered
And you said “We got this, babe”
We’ve been working on us ever since
We’re better than we were in the beginning
You love me, unconditionally
You resent nothing,
To my dear husband, if you read this,
I’m still sorry I forgot to love you
But as you sleep next to me as I write this,
I know you know already.
I wish I could take it all back
You deserved love the whole time
You mean the world to me
And I’m so glad you’re mine.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively conveys the emotional turmoil experienced by someone with bipolar disorder and how it impacts their relationships. The narrative structure and progression of events provide a clear and engaging storyline for the reader to follow. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved to enhance its overall impact.
1. Imagery and figurative language: The poem relies heavily on direct statements and descriptions of feelings. Incorporating more imagery and figurative language could help create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader. For example, instead of saying "I hated you," consider using a metaphor or simile to convey the intensity of the emotion.
2. Line breaks and punctuation: The poem's structure and punctuation could be refined to improve its flow and rhythm. Consider experimenting with enjambment or varying line lengths to create a more dynamic reading experience. Additionally, some lines could benefit from punctuation to clarify the intended pauses and breaks in the narrative.
3. Show, don't tell: In some instances, the poem tells the reader how the speaker feels rather than showing it through actions or descriptions. For example, instead of stating "I was scared you would hate me forever," consider describing the speaker's actions or thoughts that demonstrate this fear.
4. Consistency in tone: While the poem effectively conveys the emotional journey of the speaker, the tone occasionally shifts in a way that may be jarring for the reader. For example, the line "It's amazing what doctors can do" introduces a more casual tone that contrasts with the rest of the poem. Consider revising such lines to maintain a consistent tone throughout.
By addressing these points, the poem can become a more powerful and engaging exploration of the impact of bipolar disorder on relationships and the process of healing and rebuilding.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
I can't change...
the rules, as much as I would like to. But this is a great poem anyhow! I am sure that anyone reading this will say the same. Take a comfort in that, please! This is as good as any poem as I have read in the last week. This subject is something that needs to be recognized and spoken about. Your excellent characterization of the matter is superb. I see the love and hopefulness in every line. The title is good, there is good, plain language that doesn't confuse readers and the theme is great!
This piece went from the hopelessness of a lost love to an ultimate renewal of hope, with a smoothness that is evident.
This is a great poem. The minimal punctuation is good and doesn't impede the work at all. ~ Geezer.
.
Thank you...
so much for your feedback, Geezer! Rules are rules and that's okay. I wanted to post it anyways. Thank you for your kind words about my poem! It's very much appreciated!
Dear Kristen
I agree with Geezer wholeheartedly on this poem. I also have had mental health issues and I've been 13yrs this year episode free.
Medication and self love and learning to love yourself again isn't an easy road to travel take it from someone farther down the road. Life does become easier. I'm so happy for you. Hold him close he's a good one.
This is a brilliant poem. Kudos.
Kind Regards
Seren/Jayne (hugs)
Thank you...
very much for your feedback, Seren! It is definitely a hard road to travel, but we're doing it! I definitely treasure the one I've got... he's a keeper! Thank you for your kind words! :)
Thanks!
Thank you very much, Maximus!
As you might have...
noticed, the rules have been changed! We will now consider poems that are somewhat longer than the previous allowance.
However, I urge you and others to please keep your poems within a reasonable length, so as not to task our judges too much.
[Some of our contests have many entries and entail a lot of reading]. There will still be limits on some contests that will not be
changed under any circumstances and when this occurs, you will be informed. Thank you for a great poem and congratulations on a win! ~ Geezer.
.
Thank you!
I'll make sure to keep it a reasonable length next time. I was not expecting a win due to the length but I'm pleasantly surprised. Thanks, Geezer!
Kristen H.
This is sacred ground for me I don't feel comfortable sharing half of what I want to. Congratulations
on the win, you deserve it.
Thank you!
It took me a long time to get here. I'm fairly comfortable sharing most of what I write but some things are still sacred to me. I have a folder with all of those poems. My eyes only, of course. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone just a tiny bit at a time. You'd be surprised at how gracious people on this site are, and how all walks of life and poetry are welcomed.
Dear Kristen,
This poem of love and loss is so close to what I experienced about six months ago. After something hurtful my husband said to me, he slammed the door in my face. In that moment, I fell out of love with him... It was the strangest feeling, being empty. like nothing I have ever felt before. I had to re-fall in love with him. He was patient with me and we are better than what we were. I am the one on medication for mental health. Trazadone, abilify, and methylphenidate are the meds that keep my life on track, and Neopoet!
I like your title,it is a fantastic poem. I am glad to know that there is someone else out there who has experienced this. I usually choose my favorite lines from a poem to quote back to the poet. In this case I love the whole poem as it is relevant. I am glad you have posted it!
*Hugs, Cat
Oh Cat...
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. There's something magical about falling in love with someone more than once though and I'm glad you found your way back to him.
As for the rest, I am also on several different medications, abilify being one of them. I completely understand that feeling. My medications keep my brain straight and keep my life on track as well.
Thank you so much for your kind words about this poem. This one truly strikes a nerve with me every time I read it because it's so close to my heart.
Just so...
It shall be as above, so below. (Wiccan saying) we live we stumble we learn, stumble again, more to learn.
*hugs, Cat
Thank you
Thank you, Mark, for your kind words! I assure you, loving twice is no walk in the park, but it's more than worth the work.
Happy New Year to you as well!