Tigger Kaz
Tigger Kaz
Jun 11, 2023

Don't sweat the small stuff

Small things are no matter,
Not the noise, not the chatter.
No matter those moments,
And their minority components.

Like a pebble on the shore,
Only trouble when there's more.
In it's solitude it's harmless,
A safe and sure calmness.

But when such pebbles are cast,
And their presence are vast.
Leaves destruction in its wake,
In erosion, it's no mistake.

And so in life we can see,
How small things can be.
No problem on their own,
Just an issue when grown.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Coventry, England , GBR

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: Don't sweat the small stuff

The poem effectively conveys the idea that small things, when isolated, are not problematic, but when they accumulate, they can cause significant issues. The metaphor of pebbles on the shore is a strong and relatable image that helps to illustrate this concept. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved.

1. Consistency in rhyme scheme: The poem seems to follow an ABAB rhyme scheme in the first two stanzas, but this pattern is not maintained in the third stanza. To maintain consistency, consider revising the third stanza to adhere to the same rhyme scheme.

2. Punctuation: The poem lacks punctuation, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the intended phrasing and pauses. Adding punctuation, such as commas and periods, can help guide the reader and provide clarity.

3. Line length and rhythm: The poem's lines vary in length, which can disrupt the flow and rhythm. Consider revising the lines to maintain a more consistent syllable count and rhythm throughout the poem.

4. Clarity in the final stanza: The last stanza introduces the idea that small things can be problematic when they grow. However, this concept is not as clearly developed as the idea of accumulation presented in the previous stanzas. Consider revising the final stanza to better connect with the overall theme of the poem.

By addressing these points, the poem can become more cohesive and effectively convey its intended message.

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Obadiah Grey

Hiya, Tigger.

stanza 3, L1 and 2,
"But when such pebbles are vast,
And their presence are cast."

perhaps would read better as

"But when such pebbles are cast
And their presence are vast",,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I dunno, what do you think?

Obi....... (Nice Poem btw!)

R

Keep writing. Your poem brought to mind a quote from a now-departed friend, a bit of a cynic with a good heart, who said, "Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff." all the best....