I hear someone say this,
pointing to the random plants
growing free and wild along the trail.
These “weeds” have flowers of amber,
crimson and violet. Beauty that has much to express,
but maybe too faintly in a clamorous world.
But this is why we love this path.
All the raiment of flora is exactly this; untended,
free to find its way to where it will be
and what it will become in arrangements it chooses.
And we wonder what these “weeds” would say
if their voices were more than the sound we hear
of the wind rustling the blades of their leaves.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Title: They're Just Weeds
In this poem, the speaker challenges the notion of "weeds" as undesirable plants by highlighting their beauty and freedom. The poem effectively uses imagery and personification to convey the message that even the seemingly insignificant aspects of nature can hold great value.
1. Imagery: The poem employs vivid imagery to describe the colors and appearance of the "weeds." The use of "amber, crimson and violet" adds depth to the description, making it easier for readers to visualize the scene. Additionally, the mention of the "wind rustling the blades of their leaves" creates an auditory image that complements the visual descriptions.
2. Personification: The poem personifies the "weeds" by suggesting that they have voices and the ability to choose their own path. This technique helps to emphasize the idea that these plants have intrinsic value and should not be dismissed as mere nuisances.
3. Structure and Pacing: The poem's structure is relatively straightforward, with consistent line lengths and stanza breaks. The pacing is also well-executed, with each stanza building on the previous one to develop the poem's central theme.
Areas for improvement:
1. Clarity: The phrase "All the raiment of flora is exactly this" might be somewhat unclear for readers. Consider revising this line to more directly convey the intended meaning.
2. Line Breaks: Some of the line breaks, such as "growing free and wild along the trail," could be reevaluated to improve the poem's rhythm and flow. Experimenting with different line breaks might help to create a more engaging reading experience.
3. Expansion: The poem could benefit from further exploration of the theme and the speaker's perspective. For example, the speaker could delve deeper into the reasons why society often dismisses the beauty and value of "weeds" or provide more examples of the "weeds'" resilience and adaptability.
Overall, "They're Just Weeds" is an engaging poem that effectively uses imagery and personification to challenge conventional perceptions of nature's less-celebrated elements. By addressing the areas for improvement mentioned above, the poem can be further strengthened and refined.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
This...
title is intriguing and it brought me in.
I wanted to know what makes them just weeds or more than [just]weeds
I might omit the words: [is exactly this] leaving the line to say "All the raiment of flora untended"
Again, twisting words in the line that says: "and what it will become in arrangments it chooses"
to make the line: "what it will become, in arrangement of natural chance".
A good poem of a walk on a path of natural beauty.
~ Geezer.
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Thanks Geez, always
Thanks Geez, always appreciate your thoughts. With the "All the raiment" stanza, I was trying to help the flow of the personification of the plants in the last stanza. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. Kinda like it the way it is though.
Best
Mike
I agree with
that line except for the "is exactly this".
~ Geez.
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