A stilled night
makes me to wonder
the chirping sounds loud
but esoterically and mustering
Sing aloud with kinds of tones
Cricket tiny voices
and big toad voices heard
Their joint coordinations so Amazing
But I ask who taught them
harmony in a group demonstration.
(C)Ibeawuchifrederick,2023.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "NOCTURNAL". Your poem captures the beauty of the night and the sounds that come with it. The imagery of the chirping sounds and the coordination of the different voices of the crickets and toads is well done.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider adding more descriptive language to enhance the imagery of the poem. For example, you could describe the night sky or the surroundings in more detail to create a more vivid picture for the reader.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from more attention to the structure and flow of the lines. Consider experimenting with line breaks and punctuation to create a more intentional rhythm and pacing.
Overall, your poem has a strong foundation and with some revisions, it could become even more impactful. Keep up the good work!
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