The Visit

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: The Visit

The poem appears to be a reflection on the fleeting nature of spring, with a focus on the beauty of various flowers. The imagery is vivid and helps to create a strong sense of the season. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

1. In the first line, "It is June" could be rephrased to create a more engaging opening. For example, "As June arrives" or "With June's arrival" might better capture the reader's attention.

2. The second and third lines, "The tulips dropped their / petals along the grassy floor," could be revised for clarity. The verb "dropped" might be replaced with "shed" or "scatter," as these words convey a more deliberate action by the tulips.

3. The phrase "amiable lilacs and / cherry blossoms" is a nice touch, but "amiable" may not be the most fitting adjective for flowers. Consider using a more descriptive term, such as "fragrant" or "delicate."

4. The line "then whispered fleeting goodbyes" is an interesting personification of the flowers. However, the word "fleeting" might be redundant, as the act of whispering already implies a sense of transience. Consider revising this line to "then whispered their goodbyes" or "then whispered soft goodbyes."

5. In the lines "I am greeting the daylilies / as they now stretch toward the sun," consider rephrasing to "I greet the daylilies / as they stretch toward the sun" to maintain consistency in verb tense.

6. The line "Why did Spring travel so lightly?" is an intriguing metaphor, but it might be more effective if rephrased as a statement rather than a question. For example, "Spring traveled so lightly" or "Spring's light travel" could convey the same idea without the need for a question.

7. The final two lines, "to perhaps stay just one more day," could be restructured for emphasis. For example, "if only to stay one more day" or "wishing for just one more day" might better convey the speaker's longing for the season to last longer.

By addressing these suggestions, the poem's imagery and overall impact can be enhanced, creating a more vivid and engaging portrayal of the fleeting beauty of spring.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

the poem seems to be written by someone who is eager for warm weather and yet not for the heat of summer. Especially like the last two lines. While short, it combines the wistfulness of a child wondering why the season they have waited all winter for Spring, with the entreaty for it to stay at least another day. Nice stuff. ~ Geez.
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I really felt your joy, and yet also sorrow.
It is a well written poem that shows how special and well missed spring is.

I am breathless with the majesty of your poetry, absolutely stunning poem.

You've inspired me to climb out of my cave and see the world again. For all its beauty and wonder. I have too long been lost in the darkness of grief. Thank you so so much for sharing your amazing gift with us.

This poem is going to haunt me tonight because its reminiscent of another poet, and its right on the tip of my tongue. I will return when it comes to me. This poem is one of the best I've read in a very long time.

It. Has. Everything.

Brava sweets

much love to you J xxx

Loved your poem. I wish spring would last all year!