Clentin
Jun 02, 2023
This poem is part of the challenge:

June 2023 Challenge Write a love poem without using the word love

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Endearment

What do we call it
Emotions within our hearts
That make our lives whole

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

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Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: Endearment

Poem text:
What do we call it
Emotions within our hearts
That make our lives whole

Review:

The poem is a haiku, which is a traditional form of Japanese poetry consisting of three lines with a syllable pattern of 5-7-5. The poem adheres to this structure, which is commendable.

The poem's theme seems to revolve around the idea of love or strong emotions that give meaning to our lives. The first line, "What do we call it," introduces a question that the reader may ponder. The second line, "Emotions within our hearts," provides more context for the question, suggesting that the poem is about the feelings that reside deep within us. The third line, "That make our lives whole," concludes the poem by stating the significance of these emotions in making our lives complete.

One suggestion for improvement is to consider using more concrete imagery or metaphors to evoke a stronger emotional response from the reader. Haikus often rely on vivid imagery to convey deep emotions and ideas within the constraints of the form. By incorporating more specific images or metaphors, the poem could become more evocative and memorable.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from a more precise choice of words to create a stronger impact. For example, instead of using the generic term "emotions," the poet could choose a more specific word that captures the essence of the feelings they wish to convey. This would allow the reader to better understand and connect with the poem's message.

In conclusion, the poem "Endearment" adheres to the haiku structure and presents an interesting theme. However, it could be improved by incorporating more concrete imagery and refining the choice of words to create a stronger emotional impact.

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