Depressed 1
Depressed 1
Jun 01, 2023

Dark Secret

There is a dark secret that I hold

When I think of it, I get so cold

There is no one that I know I can tell

I keep it buried deep inside my well

If anyone ever found out, I would die

So I keep it inside, and I just cry

This dark secret haunts me from past

I know it will haunt me to my last

I see no light; I see no way

I see night; I see no day

Eventually, every secret is found

No matter how deeply buried underground

When my dark secret is discovered and told

I will be buried forever in the bitter cold

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southwest United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem "Dark Secret". Your poem effectively conveys the weight and burden of a secret that is too difficult to share with others. The repetition of "I see no light; I see no way" and "I see night; I see no day" effectively conveys the sense of hopelessness and despair that comes with holding onto such a secret.

One suggestion for improvement could be to add more specific details or imagery to help the reader understand the nature of the secret. This could help the reader connect more deeply with the speaker's emotions and experiences. Additionally, you may consider experimenting with different line breaks or stanza breaks to create a more visually interesting or impactful poem.

Overall, your poem effectively conveys the weight and burden of a dark secret, and with some additional revisions, it has the potential to be even more powerful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

I believe we all have a dark secret inside of us. one that we are not proud of and it pains us. you have captured the shame of it and the fear of being found out. well done!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

we get away with it! There is no need to reveal our deepest, darkest secrets! If no one else knows, the secret can be taken to the grave. I believe that regret and the self-torture is atonement enough. We are often our own worst enemy, we are more forgiving of others than we are of ourselves. Many times, we do not realize that we have done more to hurt ourselves
than anyone else could have done. Do not reveal any details that will make your secret public. Bury the incident in a deep and dark grave until you join it! I respect your hurt and don't want to know. [I have my own secrets]. ~ Geezer.
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