It happened
when you
flowed into
my world and
whispered
"I do."
A porcelain
vessel
became the
boundless sea.
It happened
when you
flowed into
my world and
whispered
"I do."
A porcelain
vessel
became the
boundless sea.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, titled "My Cup Runneth Over," is a brief but powerful exploration of the transformative power of love. The speaker describes the moment when their beloved entered their life and made it infinitely richer - simply by saying "I do." The metaphor of a porcelain vessel becoming a boundless sea is striking, emphasizing how love can expand our world beyond what we ever thought possible.
One possible line edit to consider would be changing "flowed into" to "walked into," as the latter may more clearly evoke the image of the beloved entering the speaker's life.
Overall, "My Cup Runneth Over" is a beautifully concise and evocative poem that captures the profound impact of love on the human heart.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Thank you!
I will consider the suggestion of "walked" - though I wanted the image to bring something that would enhance "runneth over."
Thanks again!
L
I agree...
you should keep the "runneth over" Geez.
.
Hello, Geezer,
I definitely want to keep the sense of flowing.
Thank you so much!
L
Oooh that's so good, your
Oooh that's so good, your imagery is laid out like an oil painting. Well done, loved it. Ruby :)
Hello, Ruby,
You are very kind. I appreciate your warm comments!
Thank you,
L
dear Lavender,
I really love this style of poetry you have crafted...it is yours. beautiful!
(I have been away for awhile due to illness) this is the first poem I have read since coming back, and I feel uplifted by it!
*love, Cat
Hello, Cat,
I've noticed you've been absent. I'm so sorry you haven't been feeling ill. I hope that you are well now! Thank you for reading and commenting. I always appreciate your thoughts!
L
Dear L
This is art in word. Absolutely gorgeous. It's s real gift to be able to say so much with so little
Sigh I've missed your poetry. Along with everyone else of course with time I'll catch up.
Love & hugs
J xxx
Hello, Dear Jayne!
Love that you are back! Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading more from you.Take good care of your wonderful self. :)
Much love,
Lx