I haven’t heard from you in ages.
I don’t know how to feel.
I know you’re overseas
and I know it’s cruel of me,
but I can’t be alone anymore.
I wish you were here to hold me.
I wish you could take the pain away.
But you’re not here to do those things
I just need to be “someone’s” again.
This is the last letter I’ll write to you.
And I’m sorry for the pain it will cause.
I wish things were different
But I can’t take the distance anymore.
Good-bye, my love.
Stay safe, wherever you are.
I hope one day we can pass each other on the street
And smile sweetly
As if to say
“Life is good”
“I’m happy”
“I will always love you”
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Dear John" captures the pain of a long-distance relationship. The speaker expresses their longing for their partner, who is overseas, and their inability to cope with the distance any longer. The use of short, simple sentences conveys the speaker's emotional turmoil and their desire for comfort. The repetition of "I wish" emphasizes the speaker's yearning for physical closeness and emotional support.
One suggested line edit would be to replace "I just need to be 'someone's' again" with "I just need to feel loved again." This edit would strengthen the poem's theme of longing for emotional connection and highlight the speaker's vulnerability.
Overall, the poem effectively conveys the emotions of a difficult situation. However, the language could benefit from more poetic devices, such as metaphor or imagery, to enhance the emotional impact. Additionally, the ending feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from further development.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Touching
and sad all at the same time but the feelings are well understood. Long distance relationships are so difficult. Not always knowing where the other person is or what they are doing, not knowing if you have been replaced and are just sitting waiting for a pipe dream of broken promises that will never happen. I guess we reach a point where we need to decide to go on living even if it means living without the one person we truly love. As always, your poems are a pleasure to read. Well done!
Thank you...
very much for your kind words, RoseBlack! I found this one rather difficult to write as I have received a "Dear John" letter when I was in the Army and it was hard to write it from the other person's perspective. I suppose, in retrospect, I could've written it from the receiving end rather that from the author's perspective. But oh, well. Maybe I'll try my hand at it again another time.
Thanks again :)