Gratitude

I'm grateful for Sun, moon, and stars,
Less so for the advent of earthy scars.
Feel happy for the warmth on my skin,
When the start of summer does begin.

I'm grateful for loving, caring, and the kind,
Less so for the selfishness mind.
Feel happy for the good deeds that I see,
When people help the likes of you and me.

I'm grateful for new opportunities each day,
Less so for the barriers that stumble my way.
Feel happy for what I can achieve,
When I allow myself to believe.

I'm grateful for God's helping hands,
That through his grace he understands.
Know's me better than I know myself,
Never failing or leaving me by myself.

I'm grateful that I am never alone,
As by God's love and grace I am grown.
A journey that grows me day by day,
To help me on my Christian way.

I'm grateful that I have eternal hope,
Otherwise I fear I just wouldn't cope.
A hope that stops me from drowning,
In a world of monetary crowning.

I'm grateful to know another day,
A way to live in a better way.
A life that's not centred on Greed,
But one that centres on my righteous feed.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Coventry, England , GBR

Comments

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Overall, "Gratitude" is a heartfelt and uplifting poem that expresses the author's appreciation for life's blessings. The use of repetition in the structure - "I'm grateful for...Less so for..." - gives a sense of balance and contrast, highlighting the duality of life's experiences. The imagery of the sun, moon, stars, and warmth on skin effectively conveys a sense of joy and gratitude. The poem's spiritual theme is also well-developed, with references to God's grace and the author's Christian faith.

One suggested line edit would be in the final stanza: "But one that centres on my righteous feed" could be changed to "But one that centres on righteous deeds." This would maintain the rhyme scheme and flow of the poem, while also making the message clearer and more impactful.

Overall, "Gratitude" is a well-crafted poem that effectively communicates a message of thankfulness and faith. It could benefit from some further editing to refine the language and structure, but the core themes and imagery are strong.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Good rhythm

It’s got a nice bounce to it and the delivery is well timed. The theme of gratitude is a good one. The more we write about it the more gratitude we realize we hold.

Tim