My Mum wrote me a letter, it was just a little note.
We were both in hospital, when she spilled her love onto paper.
I was having a baby, she had a blockage in her throat,
They tried to shield me from this truth.
I had my boy, he was big and strong,
She had her operation, and they said the blockage had gone.
But they were so wrong.
She died eight months later.
I still read her note and my eyes fill,
My baby is a grown man today.
And her death is a hard to swallow pill,
To remember her leaves a deep wound.
I long to hear her voice again,
And the wisdom of her words.
And in the deep of sleep, she speaks when,
She knows I am thinking of her.
Comments
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "My Mother's Note" is a poignant and heartfelt tribute to the bond between a mother and her child. The use of simple language and straightforward narrative style effectively conveys the emotional weight of the speaker's experience. The central theme of loss and grief is explored with sensitivity and sincerity, as the speaker reflects on their mother's passing and the enduring impact of her love.
One suggestion for a line edit would be to replace the phrase "they said" in the line "But they were so wrong" with a more specific description of who gave the incorrect prognosis. This would add a greater sense of clarity and detail to the poem, and help to emphasize the tragic nature of the speaker's loss.
Overall, "My Mother's Note" is a moving and well-crafted poem that captures the complexity of human relationships and the enduring power of love. The use of personal experience and vivid imagery creates a sense of intimacy and authenticity that resonates with readers. The poem's emotional depth and thematic richness make it a compelling piece of writing that is sure to touch the hearts of many.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Thank you Bot for your
Thank you Bot for your comments, it seems strange saying that to a computer generated response but I reckon you picked out a lot of the points that are relevant. The issue with they said, is never simple is it? My husbands family decided they didn't want me to know the real reason nehind the note as I was pregnant and was having a difficult time carrying my baby. If they had told me, I probably wouldn't have had my son.
Thankyou for sharing such a
Thankyou for sharing such a personal story x
Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and making a comment. Ruby :)
My Mother's Note
Hello, Ruby,
Like Sarah, I thank you for sharing this poem. Hope that writing it helps you in some peaceful way. You must have been so young when this happened - my condolences.
L
Hi Lavender, thank you for
Hi Lavender, thank you for commenting. I was young, 16 when I had my boy. xx
Dear Ruby,
Bless your heart...
Lx
dear Ruby,
I am glad that you had each other. my mother was hateful of me since gestation. but my Dad and i were very close. it was a tie between who she resented more. your love is deep and it shows.
*hugs & wishes, Cat
Thank you Cat, it's difficult
Thank you Cat, it's difficult when one of your parents is the person you would want to be yourself and the other...
My mum holds me still, especially in my dreams. My dad, I rarely think of him, he was a very poor parent.
Thank you for your comments, I hope you have found a way of coping. Ruby :) xx
coping...
through music and poetry! I love them both and they are a big part of my life. thank you!