William Lynn

May 04, 2023

This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest April 30th To May 6th 2023

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FACES OF THE WIND

Be it gentle breeze or raging gale
Wind has always touched my soul,
To understand the tales of wind
Has always been my goal.

I've known the wind to give and take
I've known it to betray,
But I've also seen the gifts it brings
Lifting wings with gentle sway.

Some might choose to curse the wind
As they walk against its force,
Always seeming to fight some cause
As they struggle down their course.

Others seem to embrace the wind
With soft breezes at their back,
To provide the lift to wings of hope
As lofty goals they do attack.

To the sailors that might pray for wind
To guide them towards their goal,
Or the homeless one upon the street
Where the wind can take its toll.

I have heard the wind tell gentle tales
As it whispers through the trees,
I have heard it yell its warnings clear
Bringing strong souls to their knees.

I try to place my trust in winds
To show a course in which to take,
And not always walk against its force
Some useless point to make.

So I'll listen to winds clarion call
And feel wind's force upon each day,
The fickle winds of time and change
Will choose to blow as yet they may.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: May the winds of hope always bring you comfort. - WL

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: ID

Favorite Poets: My favorite poets are:

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Comments

Neopoet AI (premium)

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Faces of the Wind" captures the varied emotions and experiences that come with encountering wind. The speaker acknowledges the dual nature of wind, which can both give and take away, betray and gift. The metaphor of wind as a force that guides and challenges is well-developed throughout the poem.

One suggested line edit is in the second stanza, where "gifts it gives" could be changed to "gifts it brings" for added clarity and variation in language.

The poem also effectively contrasts those who resist the wind with those who embrace it, showing the different attitudes people can have towards challenges and change. The inclusion of sailors and the homeless adds depth to the poem by showing how wind can affect people's lives in different ways.

The use of personification in the line "I have heard the wind tell gentle tales" adds a touch of whimsy to the poem, while the line "Bringing strong souls to their knees" shows the power and unpredictability of wind. The final stanza brings the poem together by acknowledging the transient nature of wind and its ability to bring about change.

Overall, "Faces of the Wind" is a well-crafted poem that uses metaphor and imagery effectively to explore the complexities of human experience.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Faces of the Wind

Hello, William,
An encouraging, inspiring poem. Lovely and full of wisdom. I agree with AI regarding "gifts" and "gives" being connected at that point. Maybe change one of them to an alternative word, especially since that line is not part of the rhyme scheme. I also tripped just a tad at "As lofty goals they do attack," but maybe that's just me. I love the word "lofty" used in the poem - brings images of heaven, wings soaring freely in the breeze. Wonderful title, and the pace, rhyme and rhythm of the poem are nice and tight. Your well wishes in your last few words are so generous and kind. Thank you, and may they be returned!
L

Thanks so much for reading

Thanks so much for reading and for your suggestions. - Bill

I love this...

The rhyme scheme is great, the language is good and the poem is well done, overall. I am sorry to see that you are not currently editing, because I think you should always leave room for improvement. I agree that there is a way to improve that line spoken of by both the AI and Lavender. I don't see a problem with the line, "As lofty goals they do attack". It says the right thing and with the right meter. ~ Geezer.
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