themoonman
themoonman
Oct 30, 2010

Motivation

Fear works;
has since the earliest tribe,
the first strong voice of unreason

... but reason;
hides in secret corners,
baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers

... and the following grows.

Afraid;
we congregate,
allured to the heat of the crowd,
and find ourselves growling,
armed ... with mob intention.

Repetition of History
Kill the Enemy
Motivated Murder

... when will we learn?

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Victorclaude

Pue si, nunca. Perhaps never.

Good question notwithstanding that it has been asked many times before, and should be asked until the answer is given, "Today we have learned!!"

V

themoonman

thank you, and you are so right, this isn't a new question at all, and it is something that will need
to be asked until perhaps one day we can all say " Today we have learned" ... it isn't enough for some
of us to be aware is it, if everyone or at least a majority would set the stage, oh well, one can dream ehh.

thanks for your comment sir

Richard

themoonman

Great to see you too, I've missed this place so much lately ... thanks for reading!

Richard

Race_9togo

damn, man. I've spent the last month stumbling around other poetry sites on the Net, trying to find some decent poetry.
Trying to find good poetry.
Excellent poetry.
Thank the gods for Neopoet's return.

This is excellent Richard, you say in a few sparse words more than I say on two pages.

An excellent write - good to be able to read your work again.

Respectfully,

Jim

themoonman

So good to see you man, I too have been surfing the web, actually found a site with some
pretty extensive critiques, but the poetry to me was almost generic, passionless, I think it
has a lot to do with modernist poetic teachings, but hey, what do I know. I'm just an old man
that likes to snuggle up with words, and Neopoet is the best place I've ever found, so
good to be back.

Richard

deelilah

How I have missed you and Neopoet. I can tell by your poem, you have not rested from your work. The repetition of headings, punctuated with ;,s is very effective.
It will take me a while to navigate this place, I fear, and I have much to catch up with.
Always, Deelilah

themoonman

Isn't it great to be back! Loved your suggestion and although I actually thought about that word
quite a bit, I don't disagree that something else might be more effective. Let me think on it and
perhaps something better will arise, thanks so much!

Richard

judyanne

great write
i especially like
'... but reason;
hides in secret corners,
baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers'

springboard also jarred with me --- can't think of an alternative to suggest, except perhaps - 'rebounding', 'ricocheting'
- or even 'abandoning logic to others' agendas' ...???

love
judy
xxxx

themoonman

Thanks Judy and China ...

I agree with you both on the line, so I changed it a bit
and tried to keep the same flavor ... did it work?

S

I fear that if we ever evolve to live without conflict we will also lose what ever it is that makes us human. Everybody seems bent on making me think today lol. Good to see you again......scribbler

themoonman

Interesting view there ... talk about making one think. Makes me question
myself as well, my favorite sport being the gladiator's of today, the contact
sports.

Tonya

Tonya

14 years 5 months ago

Fear is a great motivator indeed.
I am a bit perplexed regarding the reaction of ‘reason’
though. Perhaps I am just dense tonight.
I like the way you lead into the second stanza..
“… but reason;
hides in secret corners,” ……to me, that part is very fine.
“baring greedy teeth,
slobbering success in numbers” …..this is not reason……..
Reason would be horrified by the following of ‘the first
strong voice of unreason”..? yes? no?
Reason has been hid beneath the rug and no one is paying
any attention that it has vanished and been overpowered
by fear.
“…….and the following grows.

Afraid;
we congregate,
allured to the heat of the crowd,
and find ourselves growling,
armed…with mob intentions.” Love most of this stanza.

(captured by, beguiled by, mesmerized by, enthralled..hmm…
not sure I like allured) Just..typing out loud…lol

“Repetition of History
Kill the Enemy
Motivated Murder

... when will we learn?”

There is no doubt, the message is good. But, as long as there
is diversity among men, the cycle, I believe, will always continue.
It is a shame too, because diversity is good. It WOULD be boring
if we were all the same.

Always,
Tonya

p.s. you can argue and defend yourself! lol

themoonman

Ain't it great to be home !

I can say something and it don't have to sound phoney,
I can say it like I mean it ... oooops, now there's some
improper grammar, lol.

First of all let me thank you for your critique and for pointing
out where the piece wasn't clear. You are so right, what I was
going for was to show the unreasonable's reasons .... it isn't
clear is it ... hmmm, I'll need to look at that, the logic isn't quite
sound.

I totally agree with you about the word "allured" ... I'm gonna
have to find something stronger there.

Thank you Tonya !!!!

Tonya

Tonya

14 years 5 months ago

Even though we found things we absolutely disagreeded with there...we did learn something.
I really like the idea and love most of the poem. Just the few little places i mentioned. And it is only my opinion. Not everyone will agree me thinks. (oops.. lol, bad grammer there too! heehee...wouldn't we be in trouble?!!?)

I am not a war monger..in fact I hate it. Me of all people should hate it the most since one of my sons is close to it right now. But, I do feel sometimes we have to stand up for what is right. The alternatives of negotiation does not always work...so how to settle the dilemas without fighting? Wish I knew.
Many will disagree with my view here too, and that is okay. Again, there is diversity. Such a wide range of ideologies that keep this world very interesting.

You're a great poet Richard.
Always,
Tonya

p.s.it is GOOD to be home here at Neo. :)

C

demos (the mob) and cratos (the rule) But yes... there is a dark side to the social nature of humanity. Wars and conflict are legalised lynchings.... point in fact are the two Koreas just this past week.... we may never learn it seems. Here is the poet's clarion call in respect to social responsibility. And many a poet has thrown it all into that blaring bugle sound. I may have gone out of the range of this poem at some point or other, but let's just say that is just the reader in me responding to a solid and evocative poem. Thanks for sharing Richard. Cheers, Freds

K

Hi Richard,

History bares its fangs all too often, we forget.

I'm always amazed at the duality of life, "when two or more are gathered in my name". It could be in life-long celebration, in prayers of Thanksgiving, not just setting aside one day.

~A

p.s. I've given up looking for another poetry site that offers" a family of poets*.

faerybeki

We'll learn when we choose love over fear :)
Good to read you moonman, I see you pack as much punch as ever! much ove Beki xxx

CCfire

Reason has no reason for existing, logic therefore to some is a mystery when they perpetrate against others, but humans can be pathetic creatures when you look back through history. This is a poem that gives food for thought.

Eduardo Cruz

That is a dream,
and all the pipes it goes down.
it's sad but true