Stretch and yawn, feet shaking
a silent little sigh
Old Tom rolls over, relaxing
the others close their eyes
A lazy day to while away
sleep and eat, get pets
The six of them are nestled
this is as easy as it gets
Mario and Mary, the old couple
down the street
making sure they are comfy
have enough to eat
The porch is dry from the rain
tunes on the radio
Mary snores a little bit
her rocker stops, and then it goes
Her husband reads a letter
from their grown-up son
He's off at college learning
writes of awards he's won
He wonders what they're doing
on those rainy days
"I remember the pride of cats
and the porch on which we played"
"I followed all those cats
the neighborhood was ours
Our quiet little street
where there wasn't many cars"
Dear Son, it hasn't changed much
it's still pretty much the same
Some cats are gone, but others come
not so different, just their names
Old Tom is still hanging out
[He imagines smiles at that]
The memory softens up his lips
remembering a special cat
"I can't wait to get back home
to see you all again"
The letter brightening up their lives
even on the days it rains
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Rainy Days in Catville" is a sweet and nostalgic piece that captures the essence of a lazy day spent with feline companions. The imagery is vivid, and the tone is soothing, making it a perfect read for a quiet afternoon. The poem's structure is well-crafted, with a consistent rhyme scheme that adds to the overall charm.
The poem's strong suit is its ability to evoke emotions and memories, particularly for those who have shared a similar experience. The mention of Mario and Mary, the old couple down the street, adds a touch of community and warmth to the piece. The line, "He wonders what they're doing on those rainy days," is relatable and thought-provoking, making the reader reflect on their own rainy day routines.
One suggested line edit would be to change "got enough to eat" to "have enough to eat" for grammatical correctness.
Overall, "Rainy Days in Catville" is a delightful poem that captures the spirit of companionship and contentment on a lazy day. The imagery and tone are consistent throughout, creating a peaceful and comforting reading experience.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lovely poem, I enjoyed it.
Lovely poem, I enjoyed it. The way you tied the letter to the cats and the family was clever and by the end I was smiling. I think the flow in some of the verses needs looking at but over all very enjoyable.
Thanks for...
your read and comments, I'm glad that you enjoyed, and I got you to smile. Yeah, I'm looking it over and have done a couple of little edits but will wait for more feedback before I try to put a finish on it. ~ Geezer.
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dear Geezer,
I like your title very much, it was the bait that drew me in. I am very much a cat person, as is Steven. it is great to share our passion for cats. I could "see" the graceful actions of the cats in your poem. great descriptions! I too, smiled as I read.
Gonzo was the first cat we were owned by. he rode inside my Jacket, all safe and warm and purring in the passenger position of the motorcycle, behind Steve. and he went for walks with us, never getting too far ahead. he actually continuously looked both ways when crossing the street. he was more human than most people...
I love your poem. I think it is perfect as it is. thank you for sharing this with us!
*hugs and love, Cat and the whole fam-damily!
Thanks Cat...
Coming from you, and Steve, I consider it high praise! More to come in the following weeks as the weather gets warmer, and I get out in the yard more. ~ Geez.
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Rainy Days in Catville
Hello, Geezer,
Vivid imagery! I could easily picture the porch scene, the rockers, and the neighborhood. Smooth connection between the cats, the rain, and the elderly couple along with their son. Love "Old Tom" - sweet!
L
I've Dreamed of Front Porches
I've always wanted to sit on the front porch in a swing and watch the neighborhood drift by. Your poem is exactly as I imagined it. Unfortunately, in Wisconsin, the state bird (pronounced mosquito) tends to prevent that. I could see it all in my mind's eye: the cats, the rain drops hitting the puddles and sending out rippling rings. In such moments, it becomes easy to forget the years that have passed and imagine that the sedate pace that life was when I was a child still exists.
Around here...
they are enclosed porches mostly. But most have a bunch of windows that let lots of light in and they usually the have window screens when the weather gets warm enough. I know what you mean about mosquitos though, we have a few wooded lots
around here, where the water lies and the mosquitos breed. There are still places that are much like they were when I was a kid. My city is less than 200 thousand and spread out into a couple of suburbs. We are in an older part of Schenectady and the street we live on is bordered by woods and the railroad tracks at the bottom of the hill. We played in the woods all day, almost everyday. Thanks for the read and comments and I'm glad that you enjoyed. ~ Geez.
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