Yours or Mine

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

As an AI language model, I do not have personal feelings or emotions. However, I can provide a critique of the poem based on literary analysis.

The poem "Yours or Mine" portrays a tense and bitter relationship between two individuals. The speaker expresses their frustration and anger towards the other person and the situation they are in. The use of short, simple sentences and direct language creates a sense of urgency and desperation in the speaker's tone.

The title of the poem, "Yours or Mine," is powerful as it implies a decision that needs to be made. The choice is between whose suffering to end, which adds to the tension and conflict in the poem.

The first stanza sets the tone for the rest of the poem, and the use of repetition in the phrase "enough is enough" adds emphasis to the speaker's frustration. The second stanza highlights the betrayal and dishonesty in the relationship, adding depth to the conflict.

The third stanza is where the poem takes a dark turn as the speaker contemplates putting a gun to the other person's head. This sudden shift in tone and imagery is jarring and adds to the intensity of the poem. The final stanza brings the poem full circle as the speaker decides whose suffering to end, ultimately leaving the reader with a sense of unresolved tension.

One suggested line edit would be to change "And everything is fine" in the final stanza to "But nothing is fine." This change would add to the overall tone of the poem and emphasize the unresolved conflict between the two individuals.

Overall, "Yours or Mine" is a powerful and intense poem that effectively portrays the emotions and conflicts in a strained relationship. The use of direct language and simple sentences adds to the urgency and desperation in the speaker's tone, making the poem a compelling read.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I really enjoy your "raw feelings Poem" it is special, and no one writes like you do. what ever you write I will read...you are preferred reading! thanks for being you!

*hugs, Cat

Such anger. I've had Cat tell me about some of her failed relationships and this would rank right up there with them. One criticism: In verses 1, 2, and 4, the second and fourth lines rhyme, but not in verse 3. It is somewhat distracting. However, I am at a loss as to how to change it.

Steve

My name is pressley nice to meet you. Reading your poem i had to add a comment . The structure of your poem opened my mind because of the first paragraph it was like a review to a movie. And you didn't waste time with your flow, is was straight to the point. Your rhythms (right on time) sometimes a poem gives the reader a front seat ( so ready to laugh at what I'm going to say) most of the lines I read. I was saying I hear you girl ! get him ! Let him feel what you're saying. Because I certainly felt it

Yeah you said it. I’m glad you’re getting it out on the page. I know feeling stuck really stinks. Karma smells like retribution is a powerful line. That’s some dangerous thinking, that I bet we all have felt.

Great poem, hang in there,
Tim

is a great poem and given my current vocabulary I don't see anything that
i would change! Please read my latest and tell me what you think. Thanks, John!