One more blade
of green, green grass
through the rigors of life,
their days will pass
slowly ambling,
biding their time
peaceful giants,
on an uphill climb
to share a gift,
a gentle smile
as desolations wind cries!
Mar 19, 2023
Elephants!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I hope that whoever reads this can feel what this means to me. As well as their own interpretations of it. I've learned from all of you that often less means more.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I love this
Such a simple, serene write. I can picture the elephants making their way through the challenges of life, taking their time and maintaining peace in their world. The symbolism in the "one more blade of green, green grass", makes me think of how sometimes we tell ourselves we only have a little further to go until the light at the end of the tunnel becomes reachable. I think as humans, many of us strive for the same as the elephants you described. We want to get through the challenges while maintaining our peace. Sometimes those challenges are a marathon and not a sprint! Well, well done.
Interpretations
Your comment made me feel so good. It also allows me to become aware of each persons
unique paradigm. My personal interpretation comes from an idea. That idea or thought
of the endangered species list. Most certainly I feel that we humans are moving much too close
to our own extinction. Thank you for enlightening me. Your writing gives me hope that we can all
work things out.
Indeed
It would be a wonderful thing if we could all be at peace (with nature and animals included). We have taken so much from everything and not given anything back in return, leading to extinction of much more than just species.
YES!
All that I can say is yes and thank you!
John
Memory
It’s said that elephants have great memories. So I see the scene as written with the slow gradual walk through life. That actually works really well in that level.
Here’s what see underneath. These elephants are heavy memories following us around and shaping our lives. We learn from memories and improve or sometimes we are traumatized by them and they may effect our behaviors.
Excellent job
Tim
Memories
I never thought of this in that way, but you have taught me something about myself! Thank you!
I heard two of your songs on you tube I had heard them before. They were two that you sent me
a link for. I was happy that you were able to present them there. Great job again! My name is John
and if you feel like it call me by that name.
dear John,
those beautiful creatures of high intelligence...have you ever looked into an elephants eyes? they are such beautiful orbs reflecting their souls and lives. to make an elephant's journey, one must trust in their path, and dedicate each step to the now evolving into the future. once upon a time, I was introduced to an elephant named Rosie! she had been abused by a trainer and been rescued. she was fearful and shy. it took patience to win her trust. she was truly a lovely lady. she let me pat her on the neck and rub behind her ear. it was one of the treasures of my life.
what really makes me angry is the Ivory trade...they kill those beautiful creatures for their tusks! (your last lines remind me of this) if I had my way, the human animals who participate in this horrific trade should be relieved of their sexual organs and left to die.
sorry for the graphic content,
*hugs, Cat