Tranquility rising
Beneath Luna's magical light
Cross-legged on one's lonesomeness
Eyes closed entranced
Silent affirmations
Of a former self left behind
Imminent rebirth
Of a soul who's consciously aware
Free from chains
That bound needlessly
Free from wounds
That were deadly
The daystar rises
Gently stirring her
With the warmth of its breath
Suddenly, she awoke, redesigned
Comments
dear Carrie,
thank you for explaining the title, it helped a lot and made it reader-friendly!these are my favorite lines:
Silent affirmations
Of a former self left behind
Imminent rebirth
Of a soul who's consciously aware
right now, I am writing a book about my life and those lines are what it is about. you have summed it up so beautifully!
*many hugs, Cat
Thanks Cat
I have made so many changes in my life in a short amount of time, I thought it was time to put it on paper so to speak. Glad you enjoyed. I am interested in reading your book when your done.
dear Carrie,
I will let you know when it is finished, and make sure you get a copy. I could be awhile at it, I am 72. it as been a very long life.
*hugs, Cat
Yes
But what a fascinating life you have led just from what I have seen you share. Can't wait.
Great title
I think this works pretty well how it is.
Things that might be played with but maybe shouldn’t be played with
Cross-legged on one's lonesome(ness)
Eyes closed entranced
That one probably sounds cooler the way you have it if in fact “lonesome” is used as a noun.
With the warmth of its breath
Suddenly, she awoke (different)
That’s works great but there are specific words for this kind of “different”. What we have here is a metamorphosis. So she has been. Transmuted, transformed, transmogrified. Recast, redesigned, redefined, revised, refashioned, readjusted. Altered, modified.
That’s all I have. Super job!
Tim
Hi Tim
Thank you! I like your word choices! Now to decide which one to use because they are all great! I'm glad you enjoyed this!
Solve et Coagula
Hello, Carrie,
A beautiful title! I feel as if I am witnessing a transformation ritual - dramatic, yet very quiet. "The daystar rises..." Very elegant.
L
Thank you L
I was doing some research on spiritual alchemy and the phrase jumped out at me. After digging a little further into, it seemed like a perfect fit.
I agree!
Perfect!
L
That is
A great idea! Glad you enjoyed!