Apple Pie

Apples
Fall down
From the tree
Gathered up by hand
Cleaned before we eat
Cut into small pieces
Placed into a fluted pan
Baked with delight in a formed crust
Set on the table to be eaten
Always remembered as a homemade treat

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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Comments

I like...

the format, as it seemingly portrays the apples falling from the tree, the cleaning and preparation of them for the baking and ultimate consumption as pie.
Apples
Fall down
From the tree

Gathered up by hand
Cleaned before we eat

Cut into small pieces
Placed in a fluted pan

Baked with delight in a formed crust

Set on the table to be eaten

Always remembered as a homemade treat

Reminding me of grandma's apple pies, that I helped make, and enjoyed even more because of it.

~ Geezer.
.

Thank you i am trying

Thank you i am trying different forms of poetry.

dear Clentin,

a very enjoyable read! thank you for sharing with us.

*hugs, Cat

Thank you. I am experimenting

Thank you. I am experimenting with some forms of poetry that i don't have a lot if experience with.
Learning.

dear Clentin,

I think you are doing just fine!

*hugs, Cat

Apple Pie

Hello, Clentin,
This is a lovely "be in the present moment" poem. Much more here than making pie. It's like a step-by-step recipe for a peaceful afternoon. Is this a certain form, are you counting syllables or words? Because I am wondering if you need "down" and "up" in those sentences. You may be using them to offer contrast, but if not, sometimes it's nice to pare (pun intended) down word usage. It opens the poem a bit, lets it breathe.
Apples
Fall from the tree
Gathered by hand...

Another delightful poem!
Thank you,
L

I was trying to write a nonet

I was trying to write a nonet using syllables.
I hope or thought i had it right

Hello, Clentin,

Aah! Interesting! This is a beautiful poem with a very lovely form, but not actually a nonet (meaning 9). I can share what I've recently discovered about the nonet, which I find to be fun and clever to write. The structure of a nonet would be 9 lines, the first line consisting of 9 syllables and each following line decreasing in syllables by one, so that the final line would be a word with one syllable. The form has a declining appearance, like an upside down pyramid. There are so many wonderful poetry structures to learn,
I do agree with the others that your poem forms a nice visual of a tree, specifically apple as it travels into becoming a pie.
Thank you!
L

Thanks

I was trying to write

The Etheree is a syllabic form named after its inventor, the Arkansas poet, Etheree Armstrong Taylor. Consisting of ten lines, the Etheree starts with a one syllable line, then adds one syllable per line, until the last line of ten syllables for an total of 55 syllables. In other words the syllabic structure is as follows:
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10.

Hello, Clentin,

This sounds like a very cool form! I'll give it a try sometime. Thank you for the great information!
L

Dear Clentin

This brings back memories for me I never ate the apple pies, but the smell always makes me think of my grandmothers who were both excellent cooks.

I love the form it looks like half a tree; I think you're doing an amazing job while you step into unknown worlds of poetry, personally I think you're smashing it

Another solid write well done.

Kind regards Jayne