A pen's Dilemma

This pen dances on the page
It’s tired of the fear
That kicked me off the stage.

It wants me to stop apologizing.
As it mutters under its breath
When will this fool start realizing?

It paces around the room
Trying to figure out
How does happiness resume

It sees me falling to my knees
Feeling sorry about being me
It whispers shame on the fool that agrees.

It dosen’t know what else to do
Every night it asks god.
Do you think Paul will listen to you?

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York , USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi

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Comments

Dear Paul

Personification of the pen, it's an interesting concept.

I only have one thing I'd change this line ...

whispers shame on the fool that agrees.

What do you think about this?

Whispering shame the fool that agrees

Nicely done I love the thought of my pencil (in my case) having its own personality.

Kind regards Jayne

Hi Paul

This pen dances on the page
It’s tired of the fear
That kicked me off the stage.

Jess told me in poetry
each word counts
In these lines three
you have used
''the ''
three times
lost the blessings of the thesaurus
kindly peek in
if you wish......

This pen dances on the page ........ perhaps.......This pen dances on MY page
It’s tired of the fear...........................perhaps....... It’s tired of DEEP fear.(or in depth fear)
That kicked me off the stage. .........perhaps.........That kicked me off LIFE'S stage.

Secondly

Why use all first letters as CAPS?
I wonder
Rgds
(Sorry)

dear Paul,

what strikes me most, is the reverence with which you write your poem. it dos not crudely shout, but instead it whispers. your pen is the medium with which you speak not only to your higher power, but to the minds of other poets. it is very nice, Paul, may all your prayers be answered in time.

*hugs, Cat