Dalton
Feb 21, 2023

Burning Letters

Gazing on you
As you cocoon your thoughts
On Baudelaire
And your fascination for
Our Lady of the Flowers
And books I never read
Enticed by the green fairy
Deferred to the enfer of my bedside

Between breaths
My ring finger tracing
A dark pool of skin above
Your downy sex
Thinking how I might distil these thoughts
And reflect when you are gone
All the poems written in your name
Deferred to the enfer of my mind

Why should we end our poems
Each time with the releasing of love
When all that is to do with Venus
Ends with the desire to die
When only after the lust is spent
Might deceit be cast away like a dove
From the dreaming minds of lovers
Deferred to the enfer of utter night

(Written as Fallen Minstrel)

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan

More from this author

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Such a great choice of word. I had to look it up but when I did it is very specific an most appropriate.

Thanks for the lesson and the enjoyable poetry.
Tim

Seren

Seren

2 years 2 months ago

I know of Baudelaire, his Poems that were banned from public consumption, he was ahead of his time and was born too early imo, born later he may have faced less criticism and celebrated, I thought the reference to a french hell was the perfect nod to him.

From the dreaming minds of lovers
Deferred to the enfer of utter night

Is your reference to our Lady of the Flowers a reference to Jean Genet? Because I know of a few references to that line but to me that spoke of another French connection.

Magnificent well done!!

Love Jayne

D

Thanks for reading the index was a collection of writings that as catholics we were not permitted to read such as Lady Chatterley’s Lover, James Joyce’s Ulysses Charles Baudelaire. I think the index was abolished in the 70s before I was born but I still read all the books formally proscribed. My Mummy too. The French form of the index was called L’Enfer which as you say means he’ll. Thanks for reading my friend and talented poet regards John x

Candlewitch

you are an eloquent poet who writes with much elegance. I love your poems because they teach me things I would not have learned on my own (it is most likely) I so love your language usage!

*hugs, Cat

D

I was trying to write in a more contemporary style than normal for me of course my passion is for classical literature of a multitude of nations. I’m so pleased you liked this one John :)

E

Dearest Poet , J
This wonderful piece sent me googling as so often happens , I learn so much as well as getting so much enjoyment from your writings , it is so interesting that there was actually a Catholic ban on books deemed unsuitable reading that lasted into the 60s or 70s and that the French set up their own such list called Enfer meaning Hell, I enjoy the way the poem is set as a conversation between lovers , the books on this list apparently included Lady Chatterleys Lover and works by Baudelaire and Genet{Lady of The Flowers} books deemed explicit and about subjects like prostitution so unsuited for Catholics and French .
The poem while dealing with the matter of the banned books reads as a love poem , a lover being able to gaze into the mind of the other and seeing it holding a fascination for these banned books perhaps especially interested in them because they are banned .The word cocoon is interesting here it became the word for protecting the elderly and vulnerable during the pandemic and as such means so much more than it would have previously .I think how you have a lover reading the others mind is a part of the underlying belief you have that runs through your poetry lovers can only be lovers when deep understanding exists and mind reading surely involves a deep understanding , love is the real power in the universe .
The second verse starts with a sensual intimate piece as if making love while pondering what can be done with all the lovers poems held in the Enfer of his mind when the lover is gone .The final verse looks at how in the love poems of the Gods the desire was having loved the lovers would happily die in each others arms and the question remain why should this not be the way ,
The poem is a beautiful write distilling thought on the banning of books through an intimate lovers conversation , such is their emotional , physical and artistic connection that words are superfluous , their thoughts on the banning of works of literature communicated literally by being so connected they can mind read . The banning of any literature in an attempt to control access would as I see it be contrary to all your beliefs in justice and freedom but instead of writing an openly negative piece on the Enfer you intertwined your thoughts into a love poem where sharing your thoughts with your beloved became an intimate experience ,expressed as always so eloquently and with class , your belief that deep understanding is a prerequisite for love and that love is the true power in the world all comes to the fore in how you create this piece .Your belief that all writing is for the enjoyment and enlightenment of all plays into the belief that the Enfer to control the reading choices of many was restricting freedoms of many to enlightenment through reading .
Another enlightening , . awesome piece of writing , informative on an Enfer I knew nothing about ,while also dealing with the elements of deep love and understanding and how only such depth of understanding and communication can be real love , without such, love cannot exist only lust .
Thank you for the opportunity to read this wonderful piece that delights ,it made me use my brain I have learned , it touched my senses with your deep intimate conversation and I loved the sensuality added as part of the depth of the connection between lover and beloved .
You are an awesome writer and as always any thing misconstrued by me will be edited etc .
Loved it, the topic , the language , the emotion, the sensuality ,the underlying messages of maintaining freedoms and the power of love .

There ends my rant
Thank you my precious friend J for writing and gifting the world your art
Love M x

D

Correct in every beautiful aspect from your beautiful mind but the lines:

When all that is to do with Venus
Ends with the desire to die

Not the goddess herself but the act of physical love and the petit morte would it really be so horrific to die after knowing love. I’ll return to th depth of your precious review over the next few days habibti love John xxx