BUSH MONSTER

Some say there is no such thing as Bunyip in the bush
Or Yowie trampling grey and tender humus under foot
But let me tell the story somewhat strange but very true
Of the time I was so frightened that I don’t know what to do.

Was out on business in the country but the car had broken down
And was fifty from the Station but some thirty miles from town
And I thought I’d lay me over by a huge and lofty Gum
So I rolled the swag foot outwards from the hillside I was on.

Now the sky was lit by moonlight and the clouds were pastel grey
Though at night I there was camping It was almost bright as day
And the tree was silhouetted in its shadow full of leaves
So in safety thought was sleeping 'neath mighty Boxwood Eaves.

And the crickets and the bullfrogs and cicadas on the wing
Trilled me into lullabies as they began to sing
Deeper into sleep I fell unconscious until four
When I woke in livid terror at the sight I nearly saw.

The sound I heard was horrible a thousand banshee calls
Screaming like their throats were cut or something bit their balls
And when I looked above me only open sky could see
Every single leaf was gone from off that massive tree.

And not one leaf was on the ground nor any in my bed
Nor any in the skeleton of the Boxwood overhead
Not one leaf of evidence was found or could be seen
Yet I know I lay beneath a silhouetted evergreen.

Can you imagine waking from a sleep as deep as mine
To the sound of something murdered by a rusty piece of twine
And the thing I saw was like a shadow lifting from the tree
It caused my heart to palpitate and pants to fill with pee.

I shook and trembled fervently and not because of cold
My hair had turned to greyness my appearance looking old
And though I cast my eyes toward the shadow as it flew
It soon welded fast to darkness and completely hid from view.

By sunrise I had fixed the car and sped back into town
And found the biggest pub I could And there I sat me down
And the owner answered kindly as he poured a beer for me
“There’s a flock of frigging fruit bats always occupy that tree!”