I would have never shined

You asked why I Love you,

I love you,
as the suns rays
caress the morning,
her fibrils of light
graze blades of grass
in the grace of dawn,
my tears fall in dew

as black consumes
my splintered spirit,
a skein of skyline
ruptured magnificence,
illuminating my gift
in wonder

shorn of your sparkle
I would have never shined

I’d have not discovered love
in the eyes of the fates,
never would I have felt
your breath in my hair

The shy flower,
I was the closed
speck of a mouth,
that seldom moved
miming minutes

but you seized my eyes
clasping them
to your core,
refusing their return
until I saw myself,
through yours

ever special
ever precious
ever cherished
I saw myself through your eyes

And you ask why I love you.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I don't know what to call this one. That title was to fill the void.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

This is beautiful

Such a descriptive and emotive way to say all the reasons you love someone! Your poems have such a gentleness and beauty about them! Well done!

Dearest Carrie

This was for the one man in my life who never let me down. Sad but true. In struggling with the title, not something that happens often.

Thanks for reading I am really appreative of the read and your generous comment. Hugs

Love always Jayne xox

dearest Sis,

you had me from the first verse, you set the hook and I jumped to bite! you have such a way with words, enchanting and charming! I am so glad you have had someone like this in your life!

*hugs & love, Sis

So glad you liked this. I wrote the first draft and didn't like it so I started all over again. This wasn't a romantic love but it was a love that endured a whole lifetime until that person passed away. I miss their presence in my life everyday.

Hugs & love always Sis xox

To the Untitled

I've never thought of the sun as female before reading this poem. You have a way of opening my eyes to new sights, new visions, new vistas, new universes. I am completely enthralled by the way you play with words. (I think you toy with us). Your new sight-insight is the reflection of yourself through another's eyes. This is a gift and you share it with whomever reads this poem.

Congratulations on a masterpiece.

Poets Hand
Hannah

Dear Hannah

In my mind the sun has always been female. I like to think, and this is just me, we woman give the gift of life and then nourish that life through their lives until they no longer need us. The sun acts in such a way. Life giving.

On the other hand a woman's wrath can be deadly as can the sun.

I am so happy you liked this one. I appreciate your thoughtful comment and read of my work.

Kindest regards

Jayne

And you ask why I love you.

lovely dedication a world's Desiree
but two points need consideration
firstly SUN IS FIERY and around the world very much masculine the ASTRO GUYS will never accept it You may rethink and
second instead of shined may revert to shone
may refer Thesaurus
Your UNTITLED SIS
must be titled
to have such a one
is pure bliss

Dear Loved

Not that kind of love, this was a love that was everything but romantic. It may come across as such but it never was. Even after he asked me out a million years ago. I told him I loved him like a brother and he became that. Everything a brother should be, he was to me. He understood and accepted and supported me until his death.

Shone. Shined. I kept going back and forth between the two. I'll think on it. It's a good catch but one I am torn on.

Love and hugs

Jayne