Seren
Seren
Feb 03, 2023

Mantle of Wonder

whisper to me in dark places,
unshackling my silent form

revive a thousand voices,
I have sustained in forever
unspoken and formless
so as to be forgotten,
it was in a night-scape,
the void of sound
negated speech

I break into flight,
with an oath choking
on my first cry

I drift on the hair of my nape,
as the weave of my cloth
spirals, for a moment

as gums bleed out
the rhythm in my shade, refrains

I ask of you,
caress me in the softness
of mourning,
whisper to me of dark places

for now,
I am a broken vow of silence
spoken in a thousand tongues

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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More from this author

Comments

Geezer

of deepest sorrow. I know that this could be about any number of things, and I might not ever consider what it is really about, but I feel the regret and sorrow most acutely.
"I ask of you,
caress me in the softness
of mourning,
whisper to me of dark places

for now,
I am a broken vow of silence
spoken in a thousand tongues"

This sounds so lonely and distant, I can feel the hurt. Excellent! ~ Love and higgest bugs, Bro. ~ Geez.
.

Seren

You get me better than most. I got some diffcult news this week and I had a long night of no sleep lots of tears. It was like the dam that had been pent up for months had finally given. Now I'm writing some pretty dark stuff. But also some good. I'm so happy you like this one. Those last lines are my favourites.

Love and higgliest bugs Sis

Jackweb

Understanding and interpreting a poem is very huge task hence it takes your mind to deepen your imagination and thoughts to forsee and feel the same emotions of the poet. But here, I'm drenched in her poetic creation. The poet is well- versed in language. Love this!!!

for now,
I am a broken vow of silence
spoken in a thousand tongues

Outstanding line!
.

Seren

Thanks foe opening your mind and letting me in for a moment. I don't even know where those last few lines come from. Sometimes it's like I'm writing on autopilot.

Thanks for the read and the visit I appreciate it

Regards Seren

Rosewood Apothecary

The title is perfect. It gives an air of accepted uncertainty that continues throughout the poem. Everyone has picked out some of their favorite lines I see. They seem to have zeroed in on the heart of the thing. Extremely well written.

Tim

Seren

Bingo! Accepted uncertainly is exactly it! Shattered then regathered. Thanks muchly for the read and the visit it's appreciated

Kind regards Jayne

RoseBlack

I can feel the pain, sorrow and regret in every line and the longing for comfort and support. There is a consistent beat to the entire poem and I can almost hear it being spoken in a soft, dusky voice. Well done!

Seren

I'm so blessed to be here among you all especially now. To have people who can "feel" your words is truly one of the greatest gifts I received and give as a writer.

Thanks as always for the read and the understanding. It's truly appreciated.

Love and hugs Jayne xox