William Lynn
William Lynn
Feb 04, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

New Member Contest February 2023

(Read More...)

Through The Lens Of Life

If your life were on video tape
Are there parts you might just change?
Or would you choose to watch it play
With no need to rearrange?

Now think about the question
Take your time and think it out,
Perhaps your quickest answer
Is not what you're really all about.

You might choose to cut and paste a bit
Just a quick rewind or two,
Then a chance to insert most anything
But to yourself would you be true?

Others might have big mistakes
From which they'd like to run or hide,
The decisions made in hurt or haste
Or the ones that made them cry.

I think that while we all might wish
That we'd made a different choice or two,
The life we've lived with ups and downs
Is the way in which we grew.

So if you think you'd take the plunge
If you really had the chance,
If you only planned to change a bit
Does your life really there advance?

But life is not a motion picture
Nor home video you might make,
It's something film could never show
With more important things at stake.

So look into the lens of life
And let the cameras roll,
We're not shooting for an Oscar
That really never was our goal.

Let's celebrate this place in time
And let the cameras show at last,
The life we've lived with all its flaws
Is the starring role in which we're cast.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: ID

Favorite Poets: My favorite poets are:

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Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

With everything you’ve said. You’ve got a good poem here. Strong theme, good timing, nice rhyme. Complete thought.

Well done,
Welcome to the site,
Tim

Lavender

Greetings, William,
Much to like in this poem. The theme is wonderful - positive and inspiring. Your rhyme and rhythm are great, too. Very nice!
Welcome!
Lavender

William Lynn

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my poem. I look forward to sharing more poems in the future with the opportunity to receive guidance on how to be a better poem writer.

I write from the heart about my life's lessons and hopefully I will grow with help from others.

Thanks again. - Bill

Geezer

My thoughts exactly! Without a doubt, if I were to go wherever we go, and was told that I could go back and do the whole thing over again, but couldn't change a thing, I would jump at the chance! Sure, I've made mistakes, I've cried and wished, but
I've also learned and laughed. I wouldn't be who I am today, without those life-lessons. Nicely done! ~ Geezer.
.

Race_9togo

This is good. The rhymes are consistent, the phrasing and cadence are generally good. So is the subject matter.
It is obvious that you have beeing writing poetry for a bit.

Only one criticism:

Verse 6 last line:
"Does your life really there advance?"

This line made me stumble in my reading. When I read the poem aloud, the same thing happened.

Try using the word "Will" instead of :"does"? A soft consonant at the beginning of the line instead of a hard one might do the trick.

Seren

Seren

2 years 2 months ago

This was a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing.

I think its beautifully told I have no suggestions or corrections only praise for an awesome write.

I cant pick favourite lines they are all wonderful, some people don't hold to these ideals/lessons but the most important line in this poem for me was,

"But to yourself would you be true?"

At the end of the day the whole poem is a lesson that some people should have written on their hand as a reminder.

Bravo I loved this poem

kind regards Jayne