Seren
Seren
Jan 22, 2023

The way of water

mirrored mountains gleam
ripples erase reflection
water moves away

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Edit:- I changesd the whole second line.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Seren

You're right I've updated this one I actually only had the taps to begin with somehow the M capitalised itself somewhere along the lines.

Thanks for the heads up

Kind regards Jayne x

Lavender

Hello, Seren,
This is peaceful and serene, yet has just the right touch of motion. Wonderful.
L

Seren

That's a lovely thing to say!! Thanks so much. I'm a blank slate until I put my headphones on. I always listen to instrumental music never songs with lyrics. I find that sometimes being a singer it can influence the process.

I am so happy that you like it

Hugs Jayne xxx

lovedly

5 7 5 oe 17 syllables May get it checked by an expert Seren

Seren

Maybe I am counting wrong but I counted it to be 5,7,5.

shrug hmmm anybody got time to check for me?

Thanks Lovely. I will make sure to get it checked by an expert

I'm nearly done with your poem lovely.

Love J xxx

lovedly

you know I can't count
never mind
if I could count then USA POETESS
who took pains at teaching me
SONNETRY
wouldn't have failed

May God bless her soul

Yeah I am anxious enough to know ...the whole truth ...worth ....as a neo poet
Thanks Seren sis

Seren

You got it!!!

I had an epiphany tonight. That second line bothered the heck out of me soooo. Here it is my brain has stopped itching now. Lol

Jayne