The rising moon and setting sun
share the sky this summer eve
as doves' mourning has just begun.
Just like them I also grieve.
Wisps of ground fog begin to rise
over the close trimmed dark green grass
while the bull frogs start their cries
beside the pond as smooth as glass
And here I stand quiet and still
watching rows of precise shadows
fading on this gentle hill
while the fog and darkness grows.
In the fog I hear the memories.
Silently they tell their tales.
"listen....listen" they all tease
as the last of daylight pales.
The full moon illuminates the stones
in their rows of pristine white
each of which guards heroes' bones
in Arlington this moonlit night.
Comments
Stan
tranquil & atmospheric piece. Just what I needed since everything so far this morning has gone wrong...all i needed to chill was a scribbler poem...thank you. I'm so chilled now I'm horizontal.
regards
One.
hello
Don't worry things didn't go wrong they went just as they were meant to go lol. Of course that might not be what you preferred.
So don't worry everything happens for a reason although that reason might not be clear for a long time. Regarless I'm pleased my scribble brought you some peace of mind
dear Scribbler,
your title suggests peace and wonderment which is delivered. I like to take these quiet walks with you. I loved your surprise ending. I thought of a poem I wrote, titled: "Gardens Of Stone" your poem is much better. my favorite lines are:
The full moon illuminates the stones
in their rows of pristine white
each of which guards heroes' bones
in Arlington this moonlit night.
I have no suggestions...perfect!
*hugs, Cat
Hi Cat
I am pleased I manage to come up with something good once in a while. Thanks for the visit.....stan
I have a vision...
[that you provided], in my brain; a scene in which the rows of victims of war, lie silently. A calm and peaceful scene,unlike the circumstances of their deaths. You have made a powerful statement here. My only thought of change is in the line of "Watching rows of precise shadows". I think that if you used the word [sharp] shadows, or some other single syllable word as close to precise as possible, it would make the line fall in with the rest of the smooth and precise cadence that the poem exhibits. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing! Beautiful work! ~ Geez.
.
Hi Geeze
thanks for dropping by. precise is exact in my intended meaning but sharp would add alliteration so I need to decide if meaning or poetic device should rule......I'll let it stew a few days
Nice work!
I liked the way the rhyming pattern falls: ABAB
I'm inspired to pick one phrase from any of the lines and write about a different idea. It's very beautiful poem, with soft rhythmic flow of sound. Meters alternating in a particular order.
Nice job!
Thank you
The ABAB rhyme scheme has somehow become my favorite one to use. I appreciate your kind words
Hey man, this is good.
Only thing, "Grass" and "Bass" Don't really rhyhm. I mean they do, but for me, Bass is a fish, not a frog's call!
Or maybe that's just me.
Good stuff man, keep it coming.
AH HA!
You are correct about bass which is pronounced Base. indeed there is a phrase for words which should rhyme due to spelling but don't. I knew when I posted that this is a weak point in this poem and hope to eventually fix this
Fond memories
This poem brings fond memories of my childhood when kids gather together, under the moonlight, to listen to stories, often fairytales by an elder in the family. The rhyme schemes evokes feelings of songs and this beautifies the poem.
I always enjoy your poems.
hello
Always good to have you drop by. Moonlight can evoke a Lot of emotion when accompanying imagery is used right and apparently I stumbled up on doing it right in this one.
Dear Bro
I read this and I could see the scene set out before me in its glorious wonder. You have a true gift for bringing nature to life in words. You always have had. I'm going to send my muse to annoy yours into writing, such talent sometimes needs to be awoken.
Nudge nudge lol
Absolutely gorgeous work.
Bravo!!!
Love Always Sis xxx
Hi Sis
been doing some minor editing lately. Now as to a new write.....I am a retired builder so I'm used to deadlines. So I'm going to put a deadline on myself .I promise to assault you with a new poem no later than this Saturday. You have been warned lol
Dear Bro
Yay!!! I can't wait maybe that's what's been needed you've been in that mindset all your life maybe if you adopt it to your poetry you can go looking for the poems and not sit back and wait for your muse to supply.
My favourite Uncle is a builder. His name is Snow. His family originated in the States and his mother named him for her beloved winter. She never got to see Snow again which is incredibly sad. But she brought up 15 kids here in Australia. I found out recently I have family in the US living family. Some in the south and some up around CT and Ohio.
Oops I rambled... I can't wait for Sunday my time to read your new poem
Love Sis
Ah!
The smart families of your American folks are now in the south lol
Mine are in Nth and Sth
Mine are in Nth and Sth Carolina. Some in Tennessee and others are scattered all over the south. Lol
Hugs xxx
Me?
Southern born
southern bred
when I die I'll be southern dead. Roll me in corn meal and throw me in oil I'll be southern fried lol