The vestiges of your exploitation
have left all of us fragmented
now the center cannot hold
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
The vestiges of your exploitation
have left all of us fragmented
now the center cannot hold
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Excellent
The vestiges of your exploitation
has (have) left all of us fragmented
now the center cannot hold
Verb conjugation in English is nightmarish. You’re an amazing writer.
Tim
Wow!
Great thanks for the eagle eye. Your critique has added value in my writing. Much appreciated esteemed poet.
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dear Onyinyechi,
this powerful short poem (only in word count) is packed with explosives! brilliant!
*hugs, Cat
Yes!!!
Cat, i agree with you. You really nailed it. Much appreciated esteemed poetess!
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Good job...
in paraphrasing the adage, "A house divided against itself, cannot stand."
Nice! ~ Geez.
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Many
Thanks for reading and commenting.
.
Excellent review!
Abundance of thanks and gratitude to you for your precious comments.
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Truly ...
It is.
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The Abuse of Power
Hi, Jackweb,
You have stated it perfectly in language and feeling. So good, and true.
Lav
Thank
You so much for reading and commenting.
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