Extract

stretching gray
sheet sentinels
of bush

observe

a symphony of rain
wavers
a brook Rachmaninoff’s
the cliche of entropy

listen

Pastels of light
reach canopy
painting nature
With one luminous
golden strand

know

possum
crawling nose
scampers retreat,
as alien scents
reach downwind

become

cockatoo’s
Stark flamingo serenade,
into the pink
disc

wonder

the conjuring
of disrobing life,
its peaceful uproar
savouring
cinnamon specks
waiting future’s call

hope

salt cracks
from my face
at my feet

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I'm nearly done with this one. I know the format can be confronting for some but if you know me I'm never going to colour inside the lines. P.S. I am trying to get the format right I won't try and edit again tonight I've tried multiple times and its 5am here so I'll fix it later today, yes it meant to move across the page in steps but it's not quite right.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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Comments

Extract

Hello, Seren,
This invites all the senses - and there is wonderful motion here, especially in the use of the single words: observe, listen, know, become, wonder, hope. I would love a little further explanation with the title. I feel that the message is to draw the most out every ounce of every experience in life as possible. "Disrobing life" "Peaceful uproar" - thought provoking language. I know you are still working on this piece, and I look forward to reading it again.
Thank you!
Lavender