One day you will leave,
The places that dont let you breath,
One day you will ask,
Where the hell's my mask,
Don't hide your face,
Because one day you will leave this place
May 07, 2018
One Day...
About This Poem
Last Few Words: one day, into a week, into a month, into a year. one day is a long time.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dear Scooby,
This ones many years old and not knowing you I dont know if you're still around, it's a little pedestrian and needs a lot of work but the skeleton is there if you want some help.
sincerely Jayne-Chloe