Hussainy
Jan 09, 2023
This poem is part of the challenge:

January 2023 Challenge My Freestyle

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Imprisoned in my past

My eyes can see,
My wills are free,
There were never any chains,
On my hands nor feet,
I traveled many miles,
Both on land and sea,
But how free is a man,
Whose soul has long been sealed.
My present is a dream,
My future is a wish,
My past is the prison,
Where I truly lived.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria, NGA

More from this author

Comments

Jackweb

Then you need to break the chain of the past out of your mind. Your mind, thoughts have the capacity to get you trapped! Forget what had happened before. Brace up, keep your shoulders high. Don't relent! You have a future to explore. Don't get it truncated! Let the past bury its dead. Your future is colorful and bright!
.

Rosewood Apothecary

Good theme, and excellent pattern and pacing.

Whose soul have long been sealed.

Change have to has.

That is the only correction I can see.

Nice job,
Tim