I am barely hanging on by a thread
If I let go, I will surely end up dead
Our love was just a fantasy in bloom
A fairy tale love that ended too soon
Everything you said was just lies
Like all of the tears that you cried
The thread it is getting pretty bare
Cannot keep hanging in cold air
Guess I will open up my hand
Bury me under my piece of land
My memory in your head will fade
Like my body, it will slowly decay
Comments
Excellent rhyme
Stays pretty true to your unique style. I’m accustomed to your writing voice now and so these are a breeze to read.
My favorite lines:
My memory in your head will fade
Like my body, it will slowly decay
I like the decision to use a near rhyme. It shows you made a decision for effect over stringent rhyme. It’s my opinion that this was a good decision. I feel like the tiny break in form drives the finality of it home exactly at the end of it. I’m not sure if this was deliberate but it’s working.
Tim
Thanks
Thanks Tim. It just comes to me sometimes. Like the old saying no rhyme no reason.