Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Dec 26, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest December 25 to 31st 2022

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The First Redhead pt 4 by: eddy styx

God(ess) blocked their way back up the path, as Adam and Eve tried to retreat to
Eden. "NO! this is no longer your home. you must go out into the world That I will
create NOW," She said as She slammed her staff tip down! being still pissed off at
Eve for her audacity to touch the forbidden fruit of the Tree Of Life! "Now you will
have children and they will age you. For NOW you are vulnerable to many ailings and
burdens of Man!"
Eve, for the first time, shed tears of abandonment. Adam did not even blink. his mind
was a blank canvas. suddenly a bulb of light flashed, as he had his first cognoscente
thought! "if I'm the first man, and I've had no ailings or burdens, how can I suddenly
develop them?" Adam cried perplexed. "all things are possible. as I am GOD(ess)or
didn't you get my memo?" again Adam was perplexed. "I am God, your creator!" getting
a bit heated...
So off they went into the green and blue world to discover their five senses and sex.
speaking of which, they "begat" two sons. their names being Cain and Abel. Abel was
fair and had a kindness about him. while Cain was more mercurial and secretive. one day
in a fit of rage, Cain slew his brother Able! God was so enraged that he marked Cain for
life and sent him off to live with another tribe!
*this is the narrator speaking... WHAT FREAKIN' OTHER TRIBE???!!! to which God blew up
in a puff of blue smoke and dissipated!

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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Comments

D

Loving how this series is going with the humour and the strong female affirmations. If you should continue in this series I'd be loving to continue to read and be wowed. Regards John :)

Candlewitch

thank you John, I think I need a short break from Christian Bible translations. but I do have plans for more foibles... I'm glad that you enjoyed this series.

*regards, eddy styx & Cat

Rosewood Apothecary

It was the hyperboreans my ancestors. Ha ha. We were already in flying cars and stuff. I believe the Hindus called them Vimana.

This is high comedy; Bravo,
Tim

Geezer

all an alien conspiracy to keep their experiments from contaminating each other. However, it was a failed experiment due to the difficulty of brewing up a tractable female that would take orders! ~ Geez.
.

RoseBlack

So very much. Everything about it. Is there a part 5?? I'm a bit behind on the stream but would surely enjoy another part to this.

D

I love your poetry because you're creating something new with something very old you're reaching for something higher sometimes with intent sometimes with humour but always with eloquence be it from the mouth of Candlewitch or her darker avatar Eddie Styx always a pleasure:)