In the
gathering of
silence - in the
mustering of the
dark; in every comforting
shadow hollow beats a heart,
Hollow
beats a heart
in every comforting
shadow, in the mustering
of the dark, in the gathering
of silence - hollow- beats- a heart.
Obi.
Comments
I really think...
this bears thinking about, it doesn't go to as planned.
There is an element of surprise here.
I'm not sure of intent and I think that it is not finished. ~ Geez.
.
"- Hush -"
Hello, Obi,
This is fantastic. Is this an Obi invented style, or have you seen it before? It is so unique and clever - very poetic choice of words. Great title, too.
Nice buggering about!
L
V. Clever
The least to say, in its language use and poetic technique like wise.
Love it
dear Obi,
I agree with the others. it is very intriguing, a brain teaser for sure. yet the poem has a beauty all its own. I wish I'd written it!
*love, Cat
Hush
Brilliant use of words from the first verse to create a second verse.
I agree with a comment above, it feels as if it should continue and I definitely wanted more from this piece.
Ruby :) x