leoferaco
Dec 05, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week December 4th to December 10th 2022

(Read More...)

on this night

Someone grabbed my face
Tipped my neck back
And poured vodka down my throat

and I wish they hadn’t
I wish they hadn’t
But because they had
I would have to swallow

And in due time
I will latch onto you
But you are no one special

i will watch you move
and dance closer to ask you your name
So you know you’re mine on this night

But we’ll rise in separate beds, come morning
And I won’t mourn the moment
i could've asked for your number
and chose against it

About This Poem

Last Few Words: a lot of people think my poetry is literal and i just wanna say most of the time its not. in this case this is more of me entertaining the thought of something that could happen and not something that did.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: charles bokowski

More from this author

Comments

lovedly

You are so young
and
charmingly sweet

I've been on this site
since ages ere you met me

Keep commenting and answering
you will increase your fans

a girl told me I
when I was not being read for three years

I followed her
now my eyes are full of joyous tears

Hundreds read me on so may sites
ah what a Delight
Neo's new found pals
they now give me
so many calls ...

Geezer

I don't feel the need to abjure any of my works, but I can see how one might do that with this one, if you are a Moslem or Mormon. I found it curious and wonder at the thought of entertaining such a scenario. In any case, well-structured prose.
~ Geezer.
.

L

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I guess it is pretty curious to wonder at the scenario, but I was inspired by the many tv dramas i've been watching haha. Also the poem is aiming to express a sense of loneliness found in other people, dont know if that helps, thanks again for reading

Leo

Lavender

Hi, Leo,
This is mesmerizing language. Very brief, but enough to show the view. Bold ending.
Thank you,
L

L

Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, sometimes I'm not sure if I write too dramatically haha.

Thank you

Leo

Jackweb

Excellence is hidden in your thought. Great presentation.
.