Jackweb
Jackweb
Dec 04, 2022

NEW DAWN

the rough night
gave birth to
a virgin morn
joy spreads
every heart

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

2 years 4 months ago

I am a fan of succinctness and this is an ideal example.I would make a timy rearrangement for a smoother read in lines 2 and 3

the rough night
gave birth to
[a] virgin morn

Other than that, I have to say I really enjoyed the scene you've drawn with your quill for us.
Thank you for sharing.

Candlewitch

(did I spell it right? if not I apologize)

I love it and agree with the others....your poem is sharp, crisp and hits the mark!

*hugs, Cat

Lavender

Hi, Jackweb,
I will join in with the others - this is great. I do wonder, though - "rough" is a rather tame word for something that preceded such an amazing dawn that spread joy to every heart. I have the sense that the night was almost unbearable in some way...
L

Jackweb

Appreciate your reading and airing your view. Thank you so much for stopping by.
.