After he had to leave
after there were no more
thank you notes to address
no more bulky sweaters to bundle
no more magazines to cancel
she sealed the cracks
on the front porch steps
as the empty world
walked on by
***
Dec 05, 2022
Chores
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ah! What an enchanting little
Ah! What an enchanting little poem… the depth you have managed to capture within a few lines is quite amazing! The lines “as the empty world walked on by” really resonated with me and I thought they tied the poem together perfectly! Well done!
Hello!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Lavender
I felt this one...
it went straight to the heart! I know of a woman who just lost her husband recently and he was Mr. Fixit. He was always fixing something around the house. Now that he's gone, she has had to learn to do a lot of the things that he used to take care of, because they had no children, and she can't afford to have someone come every time something goes wrong. She says that the world seems so empty now. That was what struck me the most about this poem. "as the empty world walks by."
Nice job of evoking some real emotion. ~ Geez.
.
Hello, Geezer,
Every once in awhile these things just surfaces to the top. Hope your friend does well. Thank you, as always, for reading!
L
(YouTube sure comes in handy for the DIY wizard!)
Dear Lavender
This is a bitter sweet piece. Whatever inspires this, I think anyone can relate because it's sth that might hit anyone anytime. It's so deep and heartfelt indeed.
For a reason I thought it deserves a deeper title but seems to be it's only me :)
Much enjoyed reading your works
Hello, Rula,
I remember after losing my husband, many areas of my life were softened and gave me plenty of time to mourn and heal - except chores. One has to pick up the "to do" list and check it off.
Thank you for reading!
L
Thank you
for the explanation. I got it. Sorry if I misinterpreted.
Hi, Rula,
I always appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, and taking the time to read.
L
Dear Lavender
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. No matter how distant his passing is, I can’t imagine it really gets easier, more like we grow around our grief.
Your way with words is very appealing to me as a reader. There is a depth an breadth to your poems that is very organic. I feel that you are a very wise woman and I believe in your vision of our world, empty as it may sometimes feel. What is never empty is your writing, I love it.
Tim
Hello, Tim,
You are very kind, and you are exactly correct - one simply grows around the grief, which we've all had in one form or another. Not sure what makes these thoughts surface, Some "oh, yeah" moment that reminds us of how it used to be, or could have been - dunno. I love to read all the poetry here on Neo, and very much feel a kinship to many of the inspiring poets and their poetry - you, very much included. Thank you for your generosity and support, my friend.
L
Hello, Alan,
Thank you for your generous comment! I will give some thought to the title, as Rula also felt that Chores might not quite fit. I wanted a raw, somewhat void of compassion title that echoed the feelings of those things in life that one is forced to continue and maintain, such as daily, necessary chores. I always appreciate your suggestions and help, and will think it over.
L
I knew lots of women who lost their husbands too early in life
When he left them bereft
they missed him most
Mr FIXIT gone
left untrained
the car keys were to be found
but who would drive it
They wondered
then pulled up their socks
Things have to be done and they learnt
(now I won't be publishing any stream poem for a while Lavs)
Hello, Lovedly,
Thank you for reading and commenting. I look forward to your next post, whenever it may be.
Lav
at least a week hence
when self imposed exile banishes
hopefully Lav
A very thoughtful poem about
A very thoughtful poem about life and its experiences.
Thank you
Hello, Clentin,
Thank you so very much for reading and sharing.
I appreciate it!
L
dear lavender,
I got a very different view of your poem, from these lines:
she sealed the cracks
on the front porch steps
as the empty world
walked on by
it came to me that she was preparing to end her life. sorry if I read the signs wrong. anyway, the last line is the best. (I too, am sorry for your loss in the past)
*love, Cat
Hello, Cat,
We can all interpret poetry individually as it speaks to us, so no apologies if that's how it spoke to you. No, after my husband passed, like others who have lost significant others, I had no choice but to pick up the household chores that still needed to be done. The world felt much emptier, but also more precious and I moved forward.
Thank you so much for reading!
L
dearest Lavender,
you are very brave and have a beautiful sense of responsibility. I admire you very much. I don't know what I would do if I lost Steven. besides the love we share, he takes care of me since I've become even more handicapped. I used to be fearlessly independent. (drove my own motorcycle and went on camping trips by myself)
*hugs, Cat
Hello, Cat,
I think most of us do what we need to do, and I sense you are the same. I imagine you to be fearless in all situations.
Thank you for sharing with me~
L
lovely Lavender...
you are easy to talk with, thank you.
*hugs, the Cat