leoferaco
Nov 27, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 27th to December 3rd 2022

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on this river

with or without 
he’s been given a taste of both 
and wonders next time if he could skip the ending 
or if there’d be no ending at all 
 
I wasn't there 
but i watched every second 
and felt the pain, just the same
 as if he’d plunged the knife down my throat 
 
with or without 
he’s more familiar with the latter 
but that smile…
that smile and the way he held his drink 
with the confidence it would never empty 
 
I wasn't there but i might as well have been 
stuck on this river with his hands in my hair 
hungry
 
he’d been searching for nourishment
since before we met
and now he would feast 
 
with or without 
I’d rather the first

but he never offered the luxury

 
 

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: charles bokowski

More from this author

Comments

Lavender

Hi, Leo,
A sullen, gray mood to this one, and well done. The final stanza, especially the final line - piercing and consuming.
L

L

Just a busy time of my life, end of my third year university term. got many other things to worry about unfortunately, wish i could stay on here all day replying to everyone but i just dont have the time.