leoferaco
Nov 18, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 13th to November 19th 2022

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daphne

Daphne, angel 

would you tell us why you turned on the lights?

its half past eight and you should be in bed

 

well mamma, 

i’ve got no face

i tried to see in the mirror 

but there was no face at all

 

no face?

Daphne, darling 

perhaps it was just too dark 

would it help to keep the door open,

just a crack?

 

quite frankly she said:

im not fond of that either

theres still no face, you see 

even with the lights right on me 

 

I see the eyes

                        the nose

    the mouth

                    the hair 

    the ears

 

but they don’t all go together 

like any face should

 

would you like it if I stayed with you tonight?

 

mamma, 

I swear to you 

I've got no face

 

Daphne angel, 

that's just fine with me

 

About This Poem

Last Few Words: unsure about this one cause ive never written like this before, don't know where it came from just kinda happened. let me know what u think !

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: charles bokowski

More from this author

Comments

RoseBlack

This was cryptically impressive. My thoughts immediately went to a person who has lost their child and is now seeing them in their spirit form. Perhaps an accident took the child and injured their face...in any event...this gave me chills! Well done.

L

Always appreciated RoseBlack, your interpretations really make me see the depth my poems can have for people. Thank you!

Leo

Geezer

kind of reminds me of a dream I had once. I dreamt that everyone that had died, [friends and family], I couldn't remember their faces. all of them had blank faces and were upset that I couldn't remember them. A child's sense of identity could be the case here. A strange and curious poem. ~ Geezer.
.

L

I'm sorry to hear about that dream! I do love the concept though which is why I went with it for the poem, its very haunting. Thanks for the feedback Geezer,

Leo

Lavender

Hi, Leo,
I love all of this. I know we tend to state that we "love" this or that about a poem, but this piece truly draws a feeling of appreciation for remarkable poetry. The language, the style, the dialogue back and forth. I am learning to not second guess your work, but will wait to read your responses. It does give me chills, though, especially using the name as the title.
L

L

Hi Lavender, I really appreciate your feedback especially on a poem I was so unsure about to begin with. Sometimes I just get a push to write something and it comes out naturally, not necessarily drawing from any place, though sometimes (as with this poem) I will be writing while listening to music and get inspiration from the music itself and often have little references to it. I'm not exactly sure, but I know I saw a song or something called "no face" and used that to keep writing. thanks again,

Leo