Viviana Smith
Viviana Smith
Nov 04, 2022

I wish you knew

I wish you knew I wanted you
that when I look at you a smile can't help but slip onto my face
I wish you knew I needed you
that when you talk to me my heart beats a mile a minute
I wish you knew I desired you
that when you touch me my whole body warms
I wish you understood
that you weren't out of my league and were the only player on my team
I wish you weren't so insecure
that you knew you could have me and I would have you
I wish you knew I loved you and not gone and killed yourself

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Texas USA

Favorite Poets: Shel Silverstein

More from this author

Comments

Triskelion

Your piece has a very sombre feel to it. Not sure if you're expressing yourself only, or perhaps also looking for critique. Seems you've been away a while.

Thomas

Geezer

to have you back, but sorry that you are so down. I sincerely hope that this is not a true story. Missed chances at love are bad enough, but to have such a tragic ending is even worse. Your tenses need to be adjusted. When you speak of past instances,
it should be:

I wish that you had known that I wanted you
that when I had looked at you
a smile couldn't help but slip onto my face
I wish you had known that I needed you
when you had talked to me
my heart beat a mile a minute...

You can trim down your lines and still get the message across.
~ Geez.
.

Viviana Smith

Bad habits my steve lacy, i wrote it my way
It goes
I wish i knew you wanted me
i had an experiance like this with a boy thinking i didnt want him when he wanted me so i wrote
i wish you knew i wanted you